Episode 20 - Cursed Into Secrecy, Part 1

[00:00:00] Hades: Greetings listeners! Today is a happy occasion because, much to the surprise of all of us here in the Underworld, my trusted ferryman Charon is tying the knot! Yes, what started out as a simple spa trip to impress Nyx has become what I hope will be a joyous wedding—or as joyous a wedding as the Underworld can hold. So, to be quite frank, I’m not sure why I’m recording a podcast, considering that a wedding is a happy occasion entirely bereft of any drama whatsoever! While Charon and Nyx prepare, however, I’ve agreed to ferry this craft once more, both so that they can enjoy their union and also to allow them to take a honeymoon.

[00:00:39] Eris: Ah, a wedding. What fun! It’s the perfect way to see just how well these two really love each other, but how can I ensure that my plans aren’t thwarted? Ah, I know! I shall curse my gifts so that whomsoever reveals my curse will find themselves speaking in rhyming couplets until they have lost their own true love! That should deter any possible eavesdroppers from talking.

[00:01:01] Hades: Ah, Eris wishes to disrupt this joyous occasion. As both the ruler of this realm and a friend to the couple, I cannot allow this to take place. Therefore, I will simply need to learn as much as I can about Eris’s mischief, and stop it, no matter the cost.

[00:01:18] Eris: When Charon and Nyx are at the rehearsal dinner, they will come upon this apple—an apple that Nyx will not be able to resist. However, the moment she eats it, the cosmos will begin to devour her divine power. Each time she uses her power, the stars in the sky will become brighter, and she will become weaker! It will be a marvelous thing to watch a goddess fall!

[00:01:39] Hades: I must endeavor to destroy that apple or eat it myself. As it is a curse solely meant for Nyx, I should be able to withstand its malevolent magic.

[00:01:50] Eris: And this emerald ring, which Charon will find himself wanting to pick up, has a drop of the Lethe’s water in its center. The moment he puts it on, he’ll find himself unable to remember his love for Nyx at all. Oh, how very tragic it will be for Nyx to lose not only her power, but her love as well! Mwahahahaha!

[00:02:09] Hades: Ugh! The water of the Lethe is dangerous. I must ensure that this is handled with care, for if I break the ring in any way, I will end up dispersing the mist and causing more harm than even Eris intended. Perhaps, a potion of remembrance crafted with assistance from the titaness Mnemosyne will allow Charon to wear it without affecting his memory of Nyx.

[00:02:29] Eris: Finally, if by some miracle the happy couple manages to bypass all of these curses, then this cloak should do the trick. Woven from the Underworld’s darkest shadows, Nyx won’t be able to resist the urge to put it on and use it as her bridal dress. However, the moment that she and Charon ties the knot and their lips meet, the cloak’s magic will take hold and both Nyx and her memory will vanish into the ether, with Charon’s memory of both their love and her existence forever swallowed up by the shadows. Mwahahahaha!

[00:03:01] Hades: The situation before me is as perilous as the journey of Orpheus into the depths of my realm, filled with trials that could sever the strongest of bonds. If I do not intervene to seize the cloak, Charon's memories of Nyx could be erased, an act so final that not even a potion from Mnemosyne could mend. Yet, should Nyx don the cloak, the curse's delay until their first kiss as a married couple places me in a precarious position. Acting beforehand could be misconstrued as opposition to their union, a misinterpretation which could cost my friendship with them both. Nevertheless, I must do what I can to ensure that this wedding is protected from Eris’s malicious intent.

[00:03:44] [Hades disembarks the ferry and walks to Elysium.]

[00:03:45] Hades: It pains me to have to do this but this wedding must be protected at all costs. Asking for help from a soul in Elysium to man the ferry is akin to having a king mend the shoes of his soldiers on the battlefield, and yet, that happened many years ago in ancient Greece. Therefore, I must call on Patroclus for his aid and hope that his trust in me will prevent him from asking me too many questions, for I do not wish to spend my existence speaking in rhyming couplets, until I lose Persephone because of the utter madness of such tomfoolery.

[00:04:15] Hades: Patroclus, I humbly ask for your assistance in manning this ferry until the conclusion of the wedding of Charon and Nyx.

[00:04:23] Patroclus: Your Majesty, though I know not why you ask for this favor, you never ask for frivolous things. Therefore, I shall do as you request. However, if it isn’t too much for me to ask, I beseech thee to grant me one small favor. Please allow me a taste of the divine wedding cake.

[00:04:38] Hades: Ah, Patroclus, your request is both humble and heartwarming, reflecting the valor and kindness that defined your mortal life. As the lord of the Underworld, granting such a request is within my power and pleasure. To taste the divine wedding cake is a small but significant joy, one that I am more than willing to provide for you. This cake, infused with the essence of ambrosia and adorned with flowers from the Elysian fields, represents not just the union of Charon and Nyx, but also the celebration of love's enduring spirit—even here, in the shadowed realms. Your assistance in these trying times is invaluable, and allowing you a taste of this divine confection is but a small token of my gratitude. Rest assured, the slice reserved for you shall be as sweet as the memories of your heroic deeds, a reminder that even in the Underworld, moments of joy and celebration can be found. Your willingness to help, without hesitation or demand for explanations, exemplifies the best of what it means to be a hero. Let this cake be a symbol of the festivity and camaraderie that even the gods and the souls of the departed can share.

[00:05:49] [Hades begins his walk to the home of Mnemosyne. His phone rings.]

[00:05:54] Hades: Charon? How are you, my friend?

[00:05:57] Charon: Boss! It’s good to hear your voice. Listen, I wanted to ask if you would officiate our wedding.

[00:06:03] Hades: Me? Officiate your wedding? I must admit I’m surprised you asked me.

[00:06:08] Charon: Oh Boss! You think I would have asked anyone else? There’s nobody I trust more than you. And Nyx, of course, but that goes without saying. As the king of this realm, you have ruled with a steady hand, always allowing the principles of fairness and integrity to guide your decisions. It would be an honor and a privilege to have you officiate our wedding.

[00:06:30] Hades: I am deeply moved by your request. You, of all people, know all too well the challenges of working a thankless job. Your vote of confidence and words of gratitude reaffirm the bond of trust and respect we've forged over countless millennia. It is with great honor that I accept the role of officiating your wedding. This ceremony will not only unite two remarkable beings in marriage but also signify the strength and resilience of love in all its forms, even in the Underworld. To preside over your union is a privilege that I do not take lightly. It will be a ceremony that reflects the depth of your commitment to each other, and I will ensure that it is free from the malicious intent of any who would wish to do harm.

[00:07:13] Charon: Oh Boss! Only you could infuse the gravitas of the Underworld into something as celebratory as a wedding. Nothing horrible will happen; I assure you! The rehearsal dinner is tonight. I’ll see you there!

[00:07:27] [The call is disconnected.]

[00:07:29] Hades: Tonight? That leaves me very little time. There is so much that I must do before the dinner, and that doesn’t even include writing out a ceremony to celebrate the union of this couple.

[00:07:39] [The sound of a cauldron bubbling.]

[00:07:39] Mnemosyne: Hades, my lord, your request for a memory potion strong enough to counter the enchantments of the Lethe is a formidable one, but it is not impossible. It will just take me some time.

[00:07:49] Hades: Is there anything I may do for you to assist with your work?

[00:07:52] Mnemosyne: You are well-versed in herbology. Yes, please grab me dried forget-me-nots, ginkgo root powder, and grind up some dried cayenne pepper. We’ll need five grams.

[00:08:01] Hades: Absolutely. Let me get those items for the potion.

[00:08:06] [Hades begins to grind up the cayenne pepper. The potion is made and poured.]

[00:08:23] Mnemosyne: It is done, my lord. The potion will be potent enough to counter the charms of the river Lethe.

[00:08:33] Hades: Thank you, Mnemosyne. You have earned my unwavering gratitude. Now I must get ready for the rehearsal dinner on the eve of Charon and Nyx’s wedding.

[00:08:46] [Dinner sounds.]

[00:08:46] Charon: Oh Boss! There you are! It’s great to see you here! You look impeccable, as always!

[00:08:51] Hades: I’m glad to be here as well. Thank you for having me. So, what’s on the menu?

[00:08:56] Charon: Oh, you’ll never guess! We’re having one of your favorites since starting that podcast: Nigerian jollof rice! While Nyx and I were walking towards the palace, she found the most beautiful apple and it inspired her to have apple pies made for dessert.

[00:09:12] Hades: What? With the apple?

[00:09:14] Charon: Yes. That one was tossed into the bunch with others from your orchard.

[00:09:19] Hades: How serendipitous.

[00:09:20] Charon: Definitely! Your seat is with us, at a place of honor. Please -- allow me. I’ve put you and Persephone together.

[00:09:28] [Hades and Charon walk over to the table.]

[00:09:32] Persephone: Hades, my love! It’s so great to see you!

[00:09:34] Hades: You as well. Isn’t it wonderful to see our dear friend Charon tying the knot? I never thought he’d get off of that ferry!

[00:09:42] Persephone: That’s because he was too worried you’d turn him into a cypress tree if he asked for time off.

[00:09:47] Hades: Are you sure it wasn’t that you’d transform him into a sprig of mint? After all, my dear, his absence meant I spent less time with you.

[00:09:54] Persephone: Yet, my time alone was spent playing the role of both the king and the queen, and having so much power Persephone: ...I must confess, it was quite exhilarating. Perhaps we should consider putting you into a humbler role more often. You could take up gardening.

[00:10:10] Hades: Gardening? I fear the only things I'd manage to grow would be shadows and perhaps an odd underworldly plant that thrives on whispers and secrets.

[00:10:20] Persephone: [laughs] Imagine the harvest! A field of whispering shadows. I'd love to see you try, but maybe stick to ruling the Underworld. You do have a knack for it, despite the occasional... let's say, 'floral mishap.'

[00:10:34] Hades: Speaking of mishaps, I've been thinking. This wedding, while a joyful occasion, seems to lack a certain... underworld flair.

[00:10:43] Persephone: Oh? And what exactly constitutes as 'underworld flair' in a wedding? A bouquet of nightshade? A procession of shades?

[00:10:50] Hades: No, no, nothing so grim. I was thinking more along the lines of dessert. Apple pies are delightful, but they're a bit... prosaic, wouldn't you say? For such a unique union, why not create something exquisite?

[00:11:03] Persephone: Oh, I see. From ruling the dead to critiquing desserts. Is there no limit to your talents, my love?

[00:11:09] Hades: One must always be prepared to expand one's horizons. Besides, it's not just any dessert. It's a creation that would symbolize the rare and precious love between Charon and Nyx. Something that, like our love, blends light and darkness into something uniquely beautiful.

[00:11:25] Persephone: That's unexpectedly sentimental of you, Hades. And quite adorkable. What did you have in mind?

[00:11:30] Hades: I was thinking of a dessert that mirrors the essence of the Underworld and our guests of honor. A dark chocolate tart, perhaps, with a pomegranate glaze. Dark as the night for Nyx, with seeds as red as the love that binds them, and as enduring as the ferryman's journey across the Styx.

[00:11:48] Persephone: A tart for a wedding? (pauses, then smiles) It's unconventional, bold, and... actually, quite perfect. Let's do it. It will be our little contribution to their special day. But, my love, we must be cautious not to overshadow the bride and groom.

[00:12:03] Hades: Of course, my queen. It will be a token of our affection and esteem for them, a surprise to enhance the celebration, not to eclipse it. Shall we?

[00:12:12] Persephone: Yes, let's. This will be an adventure. Just promise me we won't end up turning the kitchen into a realm of shadows and mystery.

[00:12:19] Hades: [chuckles] I'll do my best, but with you by my side, I'm confident we can create anything, even light in the darkness.

[00:12:26] [They go off to the kitchen.]

[00:12:27] Nyx: Beneath the canopy of stars, in the realm where night reigns supreme, I, Nyx, find myself wrestling with thoughts as elusive as shadows. The night, my domain, is a realm of peace and mystery, yet now it mirrors the turmoil within my heart. For soon, I am to be wed to Charon, the steadfast ferryman of the Underworld, whose loyalty to Hades, his king and friend, has always been a beacon in the darkness.

[00:12:55] Charon's reverence for Hades is no secret; it is as deep and vast as the river Styx itself. Yet, I've often pondered, does this reverence give too much power, casting shadows where there should be light? My beloved, whose dedication is as noble as it is unwavering, seems to navigate this bond with a reverence that borders on submission. And though I've never doubted the purity of their friendship, I find myself questioning the balance of power that it entails.

[00:13:24] This dessert, a simple matter turned complex by the veils of secrecy and unsolicited change, has ignited a spark of unease within me. Not for the act itself, but for what it signifies—a decision made without my involvement, a plan altered in the shadows. It casts Hades in a light most curious, as a figure wielding influence over aspects of our lives I had thought immune to his reach.

[00:13:52] Is it not peculiar, that on the eve of our union, a celebration of our love and unity, I find myself pondering the dynamics of power and influence? A celebration meant to be ours, now shadowed by the will of another. It stirs within me a realization that the ember of my disquiet, long dormant, has been fanned into flame by this act.

[00:14:14] Yet, the night teaches us that light and shadow are but two sides of the same coin, each giving meaning to the other. Perhaps, then, this moment of disquiet is a call to reflection, an invitation to explore the depths of our bonds and the spaces between us that yearn for understanding and balance.

[00:14:33] Let it be known, I stand not in opposition to friendship nor to the bonds that tie souls together. But as the night seeks balance with the day, so too do I seek a harmony within our lives—a harmony where voices are heard, decisions shared, and respect mutual.

[00:14:50] As the goddess of night, I am no stranger to the dance of light and shadow. I embrace the complexity of the cosmos, the myriad stars that dot my domain, each a testament to the beauty of diversity and the strength of unity. And so, as I stand on the threshold of this new chapter, I do so with eyes open, heart ready, and spirit resolved to find our balance, to ensure that our union is a testament to mutual respect and shared power, as endless and profound as the night itself.

[00:15:21] [Later.]

[00:15:21] Charon: This dessert is a delight! A dark chocolate tart with a pomegranate glaze? It’s incredibly decadent and delicious. What happened to the apple pies, my dear? Did you change your mind?

[00:15:32] Nyx: Ah Charon, I overheard Persephone and Hades talking about the symbolism of a dark chocolate tart with a pomegranate glaze and realized that it perfectly encapsulated our love story. Thus, I did not object to this change.

[00:15:45] Charon: Oh! How sweet! I won’t say no to such a decadent dessert, either.

[00:15:50] Persephone: Before we get to actually rehearsing, we have a little surprise. I found two gifts from Eros for the happy couple.

[00:15:56] Hades: Gifts? From Eros? That’s very touching. I didn’t realize that he was even here. Let us enjoy a toast. Charon! What would you like? The usual? A Styx’s Whisper?

[00:16:08] Charon: Oh, yes! Of course! Thank you, Boss. I think I should get married more often. That way, I could have you attend to my needs much more often!

[00:16:16] Hades: Hmpf! Don’t press your luck.

[00:16:18] [Hades creates the drink and pours the potion into it.]

[00:16:24] Nyx: As the night unfurls its shadowy veil across the Underworld, I, Nyx, find myself ensnared in the web of intrigue spun by none other than Hades himself. There he stands, the epitome of enigmatic authority, pouring a potion of a most peculiar hue into Charon's glass. The potion, shimmering with a darkness that rivals the depths of Tartarus, whispers of intentions not entirely pure. Oh, Hades, ever the silent strategist, what brew have you concocted now in the quiet of your vast, inscrutable mind?

[00:16:58] This potion, its color reminiscent of a night sky devoid of my comforting presence, could signify a myriad of outcomes. Knowing Hades, a deity not given to flights of whimsy or humor, the potion's purpose leans more towards the pragmatic than the playful. Could it be a subtle bind, a way to ensure Charon's loyalty remains as steadfast as ever, even in the face of marital bliss? Perhaps a concoction to dampen the joys of wedlock, reminding Charon that his first and foremost allegiance is to the ferrying of souls, not to the arms of his beloved Nyx.

[00:17:33] Or, might it be something more dire? A potion to instill a sense of duty so profound that Charon thinks twice before requesting time off for such trivial pursuits as... honeymooning. After all, in Hades' eyes, the smooth operation of the Underworld's soul traffic is paramount, and anything that threatens to disrupt this delicate balance must be mitigated. Could it be that Hades views this union with a skeptic's eye, fearing that the bonds of matrimony may fray the ties of obligation and duty that Charon owes to his realm?

[00:18:06] Yet, there is another possibility, one that dances on the edges of my thoughts like a shadow seeking form. This potion, with its ominous hue, might just be Hades' way of asserting control, a reminder to all within his domain that his will is supreme. In his silence, there is calculation; in his actions, a message that the Underworld bows to no whims of the heart. For in a realm where eternity stretches before us, the fleeting passions of the living are but echoes of a life left behind.

[00:18:39] As I muse on these possibilities, I cannot help but feel a twinge of... disappointment. For if Hades, in his infinite wisdom and power, cannot see the beauty in Charon's desire to unite with me in matrimony, what hope do we have of ever bridging the chasm between duty and desire? This potion, dark as it is, may just be the physical manifestation of Hades' apprehensions, a silent testament to his belief that the Underworld is no place for love's light to flourish.

[00:19:10] Charon: Mmmm! This is delicious, Boss! You should definitely get into mixology!

[00:19:14] [Hades chuckles.]

[00:19:16] Nyx: Oh? Is it delicious? May I have a taste?

[00:19:18] Charon: Absolutely, my love! Here. Have a sip. It’s good, isn’t it?

[00:19:22] Persephone: Here’s your gift, Charon. I hope you like it.

[00:19:25] [Charon unwraps the gift.]

[00:19:31] Charon: An emerald ring? I’m not one to gravitate to jewelry, normally, but I must admit that this one is a real beauty. Perhaps Eros has imbued it with a blessing.

[00:19:41] Persephone: Why are you looking pale, my love?

[00:19:43] Hades: Ah, I’m feeling a touch under the weather. Perhaps it has been my time spent on the Styx. No matter, my dear. I’m sure this will pass.

[00:19:52] Nyx: [Monologue] It's clear to me that something far more sinister than a simple illness afflicts Hades. His behavior of late – the switching out of my preferred dessert, the unexpected concoction poured into Charon's drink, and now this sudden malaise – all point to a hidden agenda, one that I fear may cast a long shadow over the joy of our impending nuptials.

[00:20:13] Could it be that Hades, in his infinite cunning, has orchestrated these events with the purpose of stopping the wedding? After all, Hades is Charon’s sovereign, and I’m sure that Charon will ask for days off from the ferry on a more regular basis once we are wed. Perhaps, not wanting to have to ferry the craft himself, Hades concocted a potion that would bind Charon to his will and make him forget about our love. I can just see it now! Hades lulled us into a false sense of security with that dessert—a seemingly benevolent gesture of goodwill, but perhaps, just as in Charon’s drink, he slipped some potion into it. Those obsidian eyes of his are so inscrutable, revealing nothing of the thoughts and motives hidden in their fathomless depths. What plots and schemes might he be concocting even now behind that implacable façade? I fear this seeming benevolence masks a deeper desire for control, his gestures of goodwill merely theatrics to blind us to his true intent.

[00:21:12] Could he resent Charon's choice to devote himself to me rather than the endless drudgery of ferrying shades to the underworld? Resent it enough to actively thwart our union? The idea leaves a bitter taste in my mouth, like ashes and regret. For millenia Charon has served him faithfully, asking little in return save Hades' friendship and esteem. Would the Lord of the Dead truly be so petty and small-minded? So insecure in his power that he feels threatened by something as joyful as wedded bliss?

[00:21:43] No, no, I cannot believe that. Not yet. I must have faith that our ruler understands matters of the heart, he who loves Persephone with such enduring passion. Surely he would not deny us this chance for happiness? And yet...the insidious seeds of doubt have already taken root. Only time will reveal whether my growing disquiet is mere fancy or bitter fruit to come. For Charon's sake as much as mine, I must discover the truth. The answers lie shrouded in shadow...but shadow is my domain. If secrets and deception lurk within Hades' plan, I vow to drag them into the light!

[00:22:17] Persephone: Nyx! Eros did not forget you. He gave you this gift. Here you are, my dear.

[00:22:21] [Nyx unwraps the cloak.]

[00:22:27] Nyx: What a beautiful cloak. It appears to be woven from the shadows of the Underworld itself. I find it puzzling that Eros would offer me such a gift. It seems to be uncharacteristic of the god of love to provide something so dark.

[00:22:41] Hades: May I borrow this, please? I’m feeling rather chilly and it looks as though it could provide protection against the Underworld’s chill.

[00:22:49] Nyx: Hades, this cloak, while indeed a marvel of the Underworld's craftsmanship, seems an odd choice for you. Are the chill winds of the realm suddenly too much for the Lord of the Dead?

[00:22:59] Charon: Ah, boss, planning to add some new fashion to your wardrobe? Or is this a new trend in the Underworld we should be aware of?

[00:23:06] Persephone: Hades, darling, since when did you take interest in such... unique attire? Is there more than a chill in the air which makes you long for this cloak?

[00:23:16] Hades: Nyx, goddess of the infinite night, whose wisdom lights the darkness like the stars themselves, as captivating as the pull of the moon on the tides. This evening, as the chill of the Underworld seems to seep into the very marrow of existence, I find myself besieged by an uncharacteristic cold. A cold that not even the fires of this realm seem to abate. In this vast dominion of shadows and whispers, where power and vulnerability dance in eternal embrace, it is not often that I seek aid, nor admit to such...mundane afflictions as the cold. Yet, here, before you, I stand, a request upon my lips. The cloak, wrought from the darkest depths of night, a fabric so finely spun it could only befit a deity of your stature, has caught my eye. Not for its beauty, nor its power, but for its warmth. A warmth I find myself in unexpected need of. Would you, Nyx, in your boundless generosity, grant me the honor of wearing this cloak? To shield me from the chill that even the lord of the Underworld cannot escape. It is a simple request, yet one that I do not make lightly. I ask not as the ruler of this realm, but as one who finds himself momentarily vulnerable. Your kindness would be a beacon in the darkness, a reminder that even in the Underworld, warmth and light can be found in the most unexpected of places.

[00:24:55] Nyx: As you wish. Please return it to me before the ceremony tomorrow. I wish to wear it when I walk down the aisle.

[00:25:02] Hades: Very well. I shall return this when you and Charon are wed.

[00:25:05] Nyx: Hades, I cannot help but think that you are secretly hoping that Charon and I call off our wedding. Throughout this entire rehearsal dinner, you have, through your machinations—machinations that appeared to be benevolent, but now smell of secrecy and manipulation—moved us like pawns on a chessboard for some unknown purpose. You changed our dessert from the apple pies I wanted to the chocolate tart with the pomegranate glaze. Then you slipped a potion into Charon’s drink. And now, you’ve commandeered my cloak! Though I know not why you have done these things, I can’t help but think that you resent losing Charon to me and want to do whatever you can to destroy our love. I cannot, (and will not), have such a saboteur as my officiant. You clearly insisted upon it to do something to further your self-serving agenda. Your meddling is neither needed nor welcome.

[00:25:58] Hades: [After a period of silence.] So be it.

[00:26:00] [Hades walks away without saying anything or looking back.]

[00:26:06] Charon: Dear listeners, as the ferryman on this journey, I've seen a lot of souls come and go. Each one has their own story. There's always more below the surface that I don't fully grasp. As we wait for the story to continue, I hold onto my belief in Lord Hades' true character. My faith in him comes from understanding, not just witnessing his actions.

[00:26:33] This is a complex tale with layers we can't always see. As we stand here waiting, remember there's intention behind every action. I may not see the full picture, but I trust Lord Hades' purpose. Time has only strengthened the bonds between us.

[00:26:50] Though I know not how, I'm confident that next time, we shall see love and friendship triumph. Thank you for joining us on this first part of Cursed Into Secrecy, an Underworld adaptation of the German tale "Faithful John".

[00:27:10] [Outro music fades out.]