Episode 6 - Divine Halloween Party

Hades: Greetings, tricksters and treaters! You've traversed through the haze of haunting horrors and arrived at the threshold of our sixth episode of "Fireside Folklore with Hades". This is the podcast where we conjure captivating tales from the crypts of antiquity. Charting you through these spine-tingling narratives, I remain your ghoulish host, Hades, the Lord of the Underworld, your phantom of phantasmagoria, and the undertaker of the occult.

Accompanying me on this bewitching journey are my distinguished co-hosts. My spellbinding sweetheart, Persephone, the Goddess of Spring, whose radiance outshines even the eeriest full moon. And of course, our crafty nephew Hermes, the Messenger of the Gods, and crucially for me, the Psychopomp. No need to shudder in fear from that term - Hermes is essentially our phantom guide, transporting souls between realms and steering us through these chilling chronicles.

Tonight, we embark on our expedition, delving into the tales and treats of All Hallows’ Eve. So gather ‘round, let the flickering jack-o’-lanterns cast creepy shadows, and brace yourselves for a hair-raising journey into the domain of whispers and lore. Ghosts and ghouls, let the frightful festivities begin!

Persephone: Hello everyone, it’s such a treat to be with you tonight! I’m looking forward to hearing stories, playing some games, and eating yummy Halloween goodies!

Hermes: Me too. I’m sure I’ll learn something spooky tonight. 

 Zeus: All right, who took my mummy costume? 

Hephaestus: You mean those linen bandages? I didn’t realize they were yours! I used them in my Halloween craft!

Zeus: You what? 

Hephaestus: [Chuckles] Only joking. Your costume is right over there. 

Hades: I think that’s the perfect segue to talking about some monstrous mummy facts. Hermes, my good man, would you be so kind as to share what you unearthed about mummies? 

Hermes: Absolutely! Let's unwrap some mysteries about mummies.

1.    Ancient Egyptians had a unique way of remembering their loved ones. They believed the soul and body reconnect in the afterlife, so they preserved bodies to prepare for this reunion. The process, called mummification, took over 70 days and was mainly for the wealthy. They cleaned the body, removed soft tissues, and used special preservatives before wrapping it in linen bandages. All set for the afterlife journey!

2.    Egyptians didn't stop at humans. They also mummified their beloved animals. Sacred creatures like cats, ibises, and crocodiles were treated with the same honor. Imagine a mummified crocodile. Now that shows reverence!

3.    And guess what? Egyptians weren't the only mummy makers. The Incans of Peru and the Torres Strait people in Papua New Guinea mummified their dead too, each with their unique methods and rituals. Mummies were a worldwide trend!

Hades: I had no idea the people of ancient Egypt mummified crocodiles. That truly is devotion. Now, I think I’ll tell the story of how the first mummy came to be. I find this story fascinating because it tells of my counterpart in Egypt, Osiris.

Long ago in the golden sands of Egypt lived the great Pharaoh Osiris and his magical wife Isis. Together they brought peace and prosperity to the lands along the Nile. But Osiris had a jealous brother named Seth who wanted the throne for himself. Seth hatched a sinister plot to get rid of Osiris once and for all. 

Seth gazed upon his brother Osiris with envy in his heart. Osiris was Pharaoh, ruler of all Egypt, while Seth had no kingdom to call his own. Every day, Osiris would embark on a journey down the Nile, bringing richness and peace to the land.

"It should be me on that boat, wearing the royal headdress and flail," Seth muttered under his breath as he watched his brother sail by.

He began to despise Osiris more and more. The anger boiled up inside him until he could no longer contain it. One day, Seth vowed to take the throne for himself, no matter the cost. He hatched a devious plot to get rid of Osiris forever.

One day, the cunning Seth invited his brother Osiris to a grand feast. After the feast, Seth brought forth a magnificent chest made of the finest cedar wood, encrusted with gold and jewels.

"Good people, gather round! Whoever fits perfectly inside this chest may keep it as their own!" announced Seth.

One by one, the guests tried squeezing inside the chest, but none fit perfectly.

When it was Osiris's turn, he stepped inside the chest and lay down. To his astonishment, it was a perfect fit! Before Osiris could react, Seth slammed the chest shut. His wicked servants rushed in and nailed the lid tight.

"No! Please let me out!" cried Osiris, but his pleas were muffled by the thick cedar walls.

Seth had the chest loaded onto a chariot and dragged to the Nile riverbank. With an evil laugh, he pushed the chest into the swirling waters and watched gleefully as it drifted away.

Poor Osiris thrashed about inside, but try as he might, he could not break free. The chest bobbed farther down the river towards the Great Sea, taking Egypt's good king along with it.

Isis was devastated when she could not find her beloved Osiris. She searched all along the Nile riverbank, looking for any sign of the chest or Osiris.

One day, she met a young boy named Anubis, who said he knew where Osiris was. Isis was overjoyed and pleaded with Anubis to take her there right away.

Anubis led Isis to the edge of the Nile, where the chest containing Osiris had washed ashore. But when Isis opened it, she let out a horrible wail - Osiris' body was gone!

"What have you done with my husband?!" Isis cried at Anubis. Anubis explained that it was not him, but Seth who had cut up Osiris' body into pieces and scattered them across Egypt.

Heartbroken but determined, Isis vowed to scour all of Egypt to find every last piece of her beloved so she could make him whole again. She hugged Anubis, thanking him for his help, and set off on her mission.

Isis travelled far and wide, searching every corner of Egypt for her beloved husband Osiris. After many days and nights, she finally found all the scattered pieces of his body.

"Oh my dear Osiris, I will put you back together again," Isis cried. Using her magical powers, she carefully reassembled Osiris piece by piece.

When his body was whole once more, Isis wrapped it gently in long strips of linen. Layer after layer she wrapped, until Osiris was completely covered in what looked like a cocoon.

Isis placed her hands on the linen cocoon and chanted a mystical spell. A glow emerged from beneath the wrappings. Osiris' body was brought back to life inside the linens!

"You have created the first mummy, my queen," said Osiris. "But alas, I cannot remain in this world. I must journey to the afterlife now, to watch over Egypt from above."

With sadness, Isis understood her husband's wishes. She had done all she could to save him, but fate had another path for the great pharaoh.

"My queen, though we must part, know that I will await you in the world beyond," Osiris said gently. "We will be together again one day."

Isis nodded, holding back tears. "I will count the days until I see you again, my love."

Osiris gave her one final embrace. Then his body began to glow with a brilliant, otherworldly light. Isis shielded her eyes from the intense rays.

When she was finally able to look again, Osiris was gone. In his place hovered a magnificent, glowing spirit. He wore the white crown of Upper Egypt and held the crook and flail of kingship.

"Goodbye, Isis," Osiris' spirit spoke. "I now travel to the Hall of Truth to be judged by the gods. If deemed worthy, I will assume my role as Lord of the Underworld."

"Rule wisely and justly, as you did in life," His wife Isis replied.

With those final words, Osiris' spirit flew up towards the heavens in a flash of light. Isis watched her husband disappear into the clouds, beginning his journey through the afterlife.

Though the mighty pharaoh was gone, Isis knew that through mummification, his memory would live on. Osiris would now reign forever over the kingdom of the dead. And so the first mummy became a passageway - guiding departed souls from the mortal world into the mysteries of the great beyond.

Persephone: I can’t believe Seth’s betrayal!

Hermes: Osiris became immortal, though, and was able to rule a much vaster realm than Egypt.

Persephone: True. To honor your Egyptian counterpart, my love, let’s make Mummy Dogs! 

These are really easy and fun. Here is what you will need: 

·         1 tube of refrigerated crescent roll dough

·         8 hot dogs

·         Mustard or ketchup for decoration

Instructions:

1.    Preheat your oven to 375 degrees Fahrenheit (190 degrees Celsius).

2.    Unroll the crescent dough and separate it into triangles.

3.    Use a pizza cutter or a knife to slice each triangle into thin strips. These will become your mummy wrappings.

4.    Wrap one or two strips of dough around each hot dog, leaving a little space near the top unwrapped for the mummy's face.

5.    Place your wrapped hot dogs on a baking sheet.

6.    Bake in the preheated oven for about 12-15 minutes, or until the dough is golden brown and the hot dogs are heated through.

7.    Let the mummy dogs cool for a minute or two, then use mustard or ketchup to add two little dots for the eyes.

Enjoy these delicious and fun Mummy Dogs! They're the perfect spooky snack for a Halloween treat. Remember, always ask an adult for help when using the oven.

Ares: Delicious! Now it’s time for a bit of fun. Who would like to join me for a mummy race? 

Hades: A mummy race? What might that be, Ares, my good man? 

Ares: A whole lot of fun, that’s what it is. Here is what you will need: 

·         An even number of players, split up into teams of two 

·         A roll of toilet paper for each team 

Divide the players into pairs. Each team must decide who will be the mummy and who will be the wrapper. Once the race begins, the wrapper must wrap the mummy as quickly as possible. The team who uses up their toilet paper the quickest wins! So, who’s ready to race? Uncle Hades, as the lord of the Underworld, you naturally must participate!

Hades: Well, it seems I've found myself in a bit of a wrap. But, considering the fact that in my line of work, I'm more accustomed to unwrapping souls from their mortal coils, I suppose it's a change of pace to be the one getting wrapped up.

Ares: That’s the spirit! Now let’s break up into teams and begin.

[Gods break up into pairs with Zeus and Aphrodite’s voices most audible.] 

Hermes: [While the other gods talk amongst themselves as they race.] And they’re off, ladies and gentlemen! It looks like there’s trouble in paradise already! Dionysus is upset because there isn’t enough color in the roll. Aphrodite thinks that love is more important than winning the race, much to Ares’s chagrin! Hades and Hephaestus, on the other hand, are a well-oiled machine! Look at Hephaestus go! Well played, Hades. Well played! Oh dear! It seems Zeus decided to brighten the mood with some lightning and the toilet paper caught on fire! Demeter is too busy drawing flowers on the paper to wrap up Hestia. Oh look! I see a winner! Yup, ladies and gentlemen! Hades and Hephaestus have run out of toilet paper, and Hades has been wrapped from head to toe! Congratulations on winning this Olympian Mummy Race! 

Hephaestus: My, that was fun! I hope you enjoyed it too, Uncle Hades. 

Hades: [Muffled voice due to being wrapped up in toilet paper.] Yes Hephaestus, it was quite spellbinding. Speaking of which, it’s time now to go to our next Halloween horror. Hermes, my good man, what fun facts can you offer about witches? 

Hermes: Let’s see here … witches, witches. Here we go! 

1. Witches and their animal friends: Did you know that witches are said to have 'familiars' – these are animals such as cats and toads that they use as a link to the world of magic. These furry and slimy friends were thought to help witches with their magic spells!

2. Witch trials: In the old days, people used to perform a 'ducking' to test whether or not a woman was a witch. This involved throwing the accused witch into a pond or river with their hands and feet tied. If they managed to escape, people thought they must be a witch! Sounds unfair, right?

3. Witchcraft through the ages: Witchcraft, the magic practiced by witches, has been around since medieval times. There are examples of witches in many different cultures, including Greek mythology, which goes to show that stories about witches have fascinated people for a very, very long time.

Hades: [Still muffled.] Excellent! Thank you for sharing that, Hermes. Now, let’s hear a tale from my eldest sister, Hestia. While she tells this captivating tale, I’ll continue de-mummifying myself so I can host this party properly!

Hestia: This tale is called the Old Witch, and it comes from English folklore. Once upon a time, there were two sisters who lived with their mother and father. Their father wasn't able to work, so the girls wanted to go out on their own to try and make some money.

The older sister thought she could get a job working as a servant for someone. Her mother said that would be acceptable as long as she could find a place to work. So the older sister went into town to look for a job. She asked all around, but no one needed help. She kept going farther out of town, into the countryside.

Eventually she came upon a bakery, with lots of bread baking in the oven. The bread called out, "Little girl, take us out! We've been baking for seven years and no one has taken us out!" So the older sister took all the bread out of the oven and laid it on the counter. She was hungry so she ate some of the delicious bread.

As she walked on, she met a cow who said, "Little girl, please milk me! It's been seven years and no one has come to milk me!" The older sister milked the cow into the pails nearby. She was thirsty, so she drank some of the milk and left the rest in the pails.

Farther along, she came to an apple tree, sagging with fruit. The tree said, "Little girl, can you help shake my fruit off? The branches are about to break!" "Of course I'll help you, poor tree," said the kind older sister. She shook all the apples off the tree and propped up the branches before continuing on her way.

Eventually she came to a house where an old witch lived. The witch took in servant girls to work for her. When she heard about the older sister looking for a job, the witch said she would give her one and pay her well.

The witch told the older sister what chores she had to do, like keep the house clean and tidy, sweep the floors and the fireplace. But the witch warned, "You must never look up the chimney, or something bad will happen."

The older sister promised to obey. But one morning when she was cleaning and the witch was gone, the older sister forgot and looked up the chimney. A big bag of money fell down into her lap! This kept happening again and again. The older sister decided to take a bag of money and go back home.

As she headed home, she heard the witch coming after her. The older sister ran to the apple tree and cried, "Apple tree, please hide me from the old witch! If she finds me, she'll hurt me badly!" The apple tree hid her in its branches.

When the witch came near, she said to the tree, "Tree of mine, have you seen that girl who stole my money?" But the apple tree fibbed, "Oh no, mother, not for seven years!"

Once the witch had gone, the older sister kept going. But again she heard the witch chasing her! She ran to the cow and said, "Cow, hide me from the old witch! She'll hurt me if she finds me!" The cow hid the girl.

When the witch came to the cow, she said, "Cow, have you seen that girl with my money?" But the cow also fibbed, "Oh no, mother, not for seven years!"

The older sister hurried on, but again heard the witch. She ran to the oven at the bakery and said, "Mr. Oven, hide me from the witch!" The oven was too small, so the baker hid the girl.

When the witch came, she demanded of the baker, "Have you seen that girl with my money?" The baker said, "Look in the oven!" When the witch climbed into the oven to look, the oven door shut behind her and trapped her!

The older sister finally made it home with the bag of money, married a kind man, and lived happily ever after.

The younger sister thought she could do the same. She went the same way, but was too selfish to help the bread, the cow, and the apple tree when they asked for her help.

When she took the witch's money and ran off, the apple tree would not hide her from the witch. The witch caught her, took back all the money, and sent the younger sister home with nothing but a wart on her nose and the curse of toads falling from her lips with each word she uttered. 

Dionysus: Wow! That was quite the story, Aunt Hestia. Now I think we should have a bit of fun by enjoying some witch’s brew by the fire. Friends, it is I, Dionysus, your jovial god of mischief and mirth! As all good spells require, let us begin with a list of ingredients for this bubbling brew. Dragon scales, wolf's bane, eye of newt? Ha, just kidding! For this kid-friendly Witch's Brew we need only simple mortal fare that can be found in any mortal's pantry. Gather round as I reveal the eldritch elements we will use to concoct a Halloween drink worthy of the gods!

Hark, young mortals, listen to me, 

As I guide you through brewing this potion, joyfully. 

First, fill your glass with ice so cold, 

Enough to make even my godly blood hold.

Next, the apple cider and orange juice pour, 

Watch as they swirl and begin to procure 

A most magical witchy hue before your eyes, As the ingredients start to synergize.

Now for the ginger, if you be so bold, 

Grate it fresh over the top, I am told. 

Stir it around, let its essence unfurl, 

Adding a pop of spice for this boy or girl.

Finally, the pomegranate juice drizzle on top, so slow, 

And marvel at the pattern it makes, don't you know. 

A most supernatural brew to banish Halloween fear, Serve it up now and watch young mortals cheer!

A few whispers of advice, my dears:

Should the ginger make some mouths burn, 

Feel free to use less for kids' concern.

The amount of each juice and cider, 

Adjust to taste, as you desire.

To serve a ghostly group or swarm, 

Simply increase the portions to form 

A bubbling brew in a cauldron wide, 

Enough so all guests may imbibe.

I hope you find this recipe grand, 

For conjuring drinks with slight of hand! Now bottle your brew and quench your thirst, 

Then into a cackle you must burst! 

Hades: That sounds excellent! Thank you, Dionysus. I’m so glad I was able to de-mummify myself in the nick of time! Now for a special treat, Artemis will be teaching us all how to perform an evil laugh before the brave amongst us give it a try. Artemis, the floor is all yours, my dear. 

Artemis: Hello, my young friends. It's Artemis here, goddess of the hunt and wild animals. Today, we're going to explore a different kind of wild - the wild world of laughter. But not just any laughter - an evil laugh.

Picture this: you're deep in the woods under a full moon, and you've just set a clever trap for the cheeky satyrs. As you hide behind a tree, waiting for them to wander into your trap, you feel a giggle rising up from deep within. But this is no ordinary giggle. You're a goddess, after all. You want a laugh that will echo through the forest and send shivers down the spines of those mischievous creatures.

Here's how you can create your very own evil laugh:

1.    Find your inner villain: Think of something wickedly fun, like tricking Hermes or outsmarting Apollo. Feel the mischief bubbling up inside you.

2.    Start low: Begin your laugh in a low, menacing tone. It should start in your belly, rumbling like a distant thunderstorm.

3.    Rise to the cackle: Let your laugh rise in pitch and volume, like a wolf howling at the moon. Let it fill the forest, the valleys, the whole wide world!

4.    Finish with a flourish: End your laugh abruptly, leaving only the echo of your mirth and a chilling silence in its wake.

Go ahead and try it. Ready? 1, 2, 3... Mwahahaha! Now, who is ready to show off their evil laugh? 

Ares: What's this? Foolhardy humans testing Ares, the god of war? Mwahahahaha... Gear up for a battle you can't win!

Poseidon: Ah, my dear mortals, you thought you could outsmart me, the mighty Poseidon? Mwahahahahaha! Now, feel the wrath of my stormy seas!

Apollo: Oh, you thought you could hide from me, the all-seeing Apollo? Mwahahahaha! There’s no shadow dark enough to hide you from my sight!

Artemis: Anybody else? 

[Silence] 

Artemis: Come now! Surely one of you hosts are willing to show off your evil laugh? I mean, how can you host this 

podcast and not give it a shot? 

Persephone: Dad? 

Zeus: Don’t look at me. You all laugh at me enough as it is. I’m not gonna go up there and do an evil laugh just so you can all find something to write about in the tabloids.

Persephone: I’m too cheerful to do this! Okay, Hermes? How about you? 

Hermes: Although I would love to engage in such merriment, I can barely do a respectable regular laugh. No no, let us spare the audience from my feeble attempts. Uncle Hades? I think you’d do well at this. Please, it would be such a delight to hear you dominate the evil laugh. 

Hades: Me? Oh no, I see through your little game. This is a plot to have a laugh at my expense, isn't it? You think I’ll just laugh on command like a trained harpy? No, no, no. I’m the king of the underworld, not some court jester.

Zeus: Oh come now, brother, it's all in good fun. We aren't taking ourselves too seriously here. Remember, it's for the delight of our listeners.

Hades: The delight of our listeners? Ha! And that’s coming from the god who didn’t want to be written up in the tabloids!

Persephone: Oh but my love! You have the most practice at being, um, intimidating. It would be a real treat for the audience to hear the might of my pomegranate prince.

Hermes: And besides, who better to demonstrate an evil laugh than the ruler of the underworld himself? We need your expertise here, Uncle Hades!

Hades: Well, when you put it that way... I suppose it could be... fun. Alright, I'll do it. But no mocking, you hear me? Not a peep from any of you! No posting videos on Godstagram, or making posts on DivineBook, and definitely no decrees on Wrath! Do I make myself clear? 

Persephone: All right. We won’t say a word. Here’s a script we made so it would be easier for you to do the evil laugh. 

Hades: [Voice lower in pitch, tempo, and with echo and distortion.] Mwahahahaha! So, it has come to this. You insignificant mortals dare to defy me, Hades, the mighty ruler of the underworld, the one who holds the leash of Cerberus, the one whose name causes the bravest to tremble! You thought you could cross paths with me and just...walk away??? Mwahahahaha! Oh, how delightful! But remember, even the most hardy flower wilts in the shadow of the underworld. And let's not forget, my darling Persephone--the goddess of spring--has wilted under the oppression of my chilling side. Do you dare to meet it as well? Mwahahahaha! [Normal voice.] Wait, am I still going? Zeus’s thunderbolts!!! This is some monologue! Two pages, single spaced! Who wrote this? [Echo.] Hermes! Was this your doing? [Voice resuming echo, slow tempo, distortion, and lower pitch.] Or Athena? You think this is funny, don't you? Making me!, your long-suffering Uncle Hades!, the mighty ruler of the underworld!, ramble on like an old philosopher. Well, the joke's on you, for I am the lord of dramatic exits ... and unexpected... [normal pleasant voice.] laughter! [Kindly chuckle.] Alright, enough of this. What's the next Halloween creature feature?

Hermes: I was going to say the Jack-o’-lantern, Uncle Hades, but I think we might have to feature you as our next Halloween creature. I know we’re all gods, but that was spooktacular, even for you!

Zeus: Halloween monster, you mean! 

Hades: [Soothing voice with sinister undertone, progressively slowing ticking clock, and snake charmer music in the background.] Come now. I’m the friendliest and most unassuming god in the entirety of the Pantheon. You know that. I don't even have a throne on Mount Olympus. I really don’t know what you’re all going on about. There was nothing scary about my voice in the slightest. You must have had too much of Dionysus’s witch’s brew. Please calm yourself. Take a seat. Relax. Enjoy a mummy dog. That's right. Now ... where were we? Ah yes, the Jack-o’-lantern. what were you saying about them, Hermes? [Music and clock stops, voice has echo.] Hermes!

Hermes: Of course, Uncle Hades! Absolutely nothing ghostly going on here! The Jack-o’-lantern. Let’s see. 

1.    The name Jack-O'-Lantern comes from an Irish folktale about a man named Stingy Jack.

2.    Before the tradition of carving pumpkins came about, large turnips and potatoes were carved as lanterns in Ireland.

3.    The practice of carving pumpkins into Jack-O'-Lanterns originally came from Ireland and was brought to America by Irish immigrants.

Hades: Excellent! Since the name Jack-o’-lantern comes from an Irish folktale about a man named Stingy Jack, let’s hear just how this all came to be. Who would like to tell us the tale? 

Demeter: Allow me. A long, long time ago, in the good country of Ireland, there lived a miser named Jack. Now Jack loved to drink at the local pub, but often wouldn’t have the money needed to pay for his drinks. One night, after one too many incidents, the pub owner said, “All right, you scoundrel! If you don’t pay your debts this instant, I shall call the constable and have you thrown into prison as a cheat and a thief! Now pay up without delay! None of you let this man out of the pub, you hear me?”. Because the money was at Jack’s home, in the potato bin, and because the pub’s owner would not allow Jack to leave, Jack was doomed! That was, until, the Devil, disguised as a patron, came to Jack with an offer he thought would ensnare him forever. “Listen up there, Jack. You’ve impressed me with your scheming and stinginess, and I’ll pay your debts if you agree to give me your soul.” Jack readily agreed, though he had no intention of actually going with the Devil at all. When the Devil transformed into a gold coin that would more than pay Jack’s long-standing tab, Jack cleverly drew a cross onto the coin and stuck it into his pocket. Because the cross prevented the Devil from resuming his natural shape, he was forced to stay a coin until Jack released him.

“Jack, please release me! I am the Devil, and I along with God bring balance to the world!” Well, Jack didn’t care about all of that, and he really didn’t want the Devil to be with him for the rest of his life, so he knew he would need to release the Devil if he wanted any peace, but he also didn’t want to lose his soul. “Very well, if you promise to leave me in peace for ten years so that I may live as I please, then I shall set you free.” 

Knowing that he was defeated for now, the Devil replied, “Very well, but I shall come in ten years to get my due, Jack.” 

And so, for the next ten years, Stingy Jack continued to live his life, becoming an even greater miser than ever before. However, exactly ten years to the day, when Jack was outside in his orchard, the Devil approached him once more.

“Well Jack, the time has arrived for you to come with me.”

“Of course,” Jack said, pretending to be contrite. “But first, let us share a last drink and snack. Would you be able to grab some apples from my tree?” 

Having learned nothing from his prior experience with Stingy Jack, the Devil readily agreed. He quickly climbed the tree but no sooner had he climbed up to the apples then Stingy Jack carved a cross into the trunk of the tree so the Devil could not climb down again. 

“Jack, please let me down! If you don’t, the world will be thrown into chaos!” The Devil said, once again having to beg for his release.

“Very well, but if I let you go, you must promise not to take my soul when I die.” 

Reluctantly, the Devil agreed. Stingy Jack lived for fifteen years after that incident, accumulating wealth and becoming even more of a miser than before. Eventually however, Stingy Jack died and his spirit first went to the pearly gates, thinking that because the Devil couldn’t take his soul, he would automatically be given entrance into Heaven. No sooner did Saint Peter see him, however, then the gates slammed shut and he said, “Oh no you don’t, Stingy Jack! You have led a wicked life and will get no quarter here! Go to Hell where you belong!” 

Reluctantly, Stingy Jack headed down to Hell, hoping to find rest for his wicked soul. Unfortunately for Jack, when the Devil caught sight of him, he said, 

“Stingy Jack? Get out of my sight! Your soul isn’t welcome here! Besides, you made me promise not to take it, so you must go! However, I shall give you an ember of hellfire that you may take to light your way until you find some place to settle. Good luck and begone!” 

And so, Stingy Jack was given a hollowed-out turnip with an ember of hellfire within its depths. To ward off Stingy Jack and other evil spirits, people began carving hideous faces into hollowed-out turnips, potatoes, and finally, pumpkins, and putting candles in them. It is said that if you do not place a Jack-o’-lantern before your home, Stingy Jack might decide to call it his own, so when you carve your pumpkins this year, remember the story of Stingy Jack and make it a fearsome and scary one!

Hades: Wonderful! Thank you Demeter for telling us the story of Stingy Jack. Now, who would like to grace us with a delicious pumpkin recipe? 

Aphrodite: That sounds like fun! I’ll do it. 

Hades: All right then, Aphrodite, what have you got for us tonight? 

Aphrodite: As the leaves start to turn and fall gently to the ground, there's a chill in the air that makes us crave warmth and comfort. A creamy, comforting pumpkin soup, bursting with the flavors of the harvest is a great meal to enjoy on a chilly Halloween night.

Imagine a fresh pumpkin, its skin smooth and orange, waiting to be transformed. Combined with the savory depth of flavor from onions and garlic, and the warmth of spices like ginger, turmeric, cumin, cardamom, and coriander, this soup will fill your home with the most divine aroma.

The secret to its creaminess is coconut milk, making this recipe entirely vegan and dairy-free. The sweet pumpkin and spices are beautifully balanced with a tangy touch of apple cider vinegar. And of course, a sprinkle of salt and pepper to make all these flavors pop.

So, come with me on this culinary journey, and let's make autumn in a bowl together!

To make this delicious pumpkin soup, you will need:

·         1 large Onion, finely chopped (ask mom or dad for help with this!)

·         2 Garlic cloves, minced (another task for the grown-ups!)

·         2 tablespoons of Olive Oil

·         2 teaspoons of Ginger

·         1 teaspoon of Turmeric

·         1/2 teaspoon of Cumin

·         1/4 teaspoon of Cardamom

·         1/4 teaspoon of Coriander

·         1 cup of Coconut Milk

·         4 cups of Vegetable Broth

·         1 tablespoon of Apple Cider Vinegar

·         Salt and Pepper, to taste

·         4 cups of fresh Pumpkin or winter Squash, cubed (grown-ups to the rescue again!)

Now, let's get cooking!

1.    First, have a grown-up help you heat the olive oil in a large pot over medium heat. Add the onion and garlic, and cook until they're soft and fragrant.

2.    Next, let's add some excitement! Stir in the ginger, turmeric, cumin, cardamom, and coriander. These spices will give our soup a beautiful golden color and a warmth that reminds us of cozy fall evenings.

3.    Now, it's time for our star ingredient - the pumpkin! Add the pumpkin or squash to the pot and stir everything together so that the pumpkin is coated with the aromatic spices.

4.    Then, add the vegetable broth, coconut milk, and apple cider vinegar. Ask a grown-up to help you with this step and the next one, as it involves working with hot liquids.

5.    Bring the soup to a boil, then reduce the heat and let it simmer until the pumpkin is soft. This usually takes about 20-30 minutes.

6.    The final step is to puree the soup until it's smooth and creamy. A grown-up should definitely help with this part, as it involves using a blender or an immersion blender.

7.    Lastly, you can taste the soup and add salt and pepper as needed.

And that's it! You've created a warm, comforting bowl of pumpkin soup, perfect for a cool autumn evening. Remember, cooking is a lot like love – it should be entered into with abandon, or not at all. Enjoy your creation, my little chefs!

Hades: Thank you, Aphrodite. It sounds like a tasty pumpkin soup, but how are we going to get the pumpkin needed for this soup? 

Hephaestus: By making Jack-o’-lanterns, of course!

Hades: Good idea, Hephaestus. And who better than the god of blacksmiths and the forge to tell us how to carve Jack-o’-lanterns? Since you’re a master of craftsmanship, please give us some instructions on how to carve a Jack-o’-lantern, Hephaestus, my good man. 

Hephaestus: I’d be happy to! Hello, young creators! It's Hephaestus here, and today we're going to create something wonderful for Halloween - your very own Jack-o'-lantern! Now, don't be daunted. Like crafting a fine piece of armor, it's all about taking it step by step. So, let's fire up those imaginations and get to work!

1.    Choosing your pumpkin: First things first, you need a pumpkin. But not just any pumpkin, the right pumpkin. Look for one with a flat bottom so it doesn't roll, and a good stem for holding. If you can, find one with a nice, even orange color and no visible bruises or cuts.

2.    Creating a lid: Now, this is a job for the grown-ups. Ask an adult to help you cut a lid on the top of the pumpkin. Make sure the hole is wide enough for your hand to fit inside. The adults should use a sharp knife and cut at a 45-degree angle. This way, the lid won't fall inside the pumpkin when you're done carving.

3.    Scooping out the insides: Roll up your sleeves—it's about to get messy! Use a big spoon or an ice cream scoop to get all the seeds and stringy bits out of the pumpkin. If you're feeling adventurous, you can save the seeds and roast them later for a tasty snack!

4.    Designing your face: Here's where you can let your creativity shine. You can make a traditional face, use the stem as a nose, or even carve something that isn't a face at all! The sky's the limit. Draw your design on the pumpkin with a marker before you start carving.

5.    Carving: This is another job for the grown-ups. Ask an adult to help you follow your design and carve out the face (or other creation) on your pumpkin. Remember, safety first!

6.    Lighting your Jack-o'-lantern: Once the carving is done, ask an adult to place a small candle or a battery-operated light inside your pumpkin, and then put the lid back on. Voila, you've got a Jack-o'-lantern!

Remember, the most important part is to have fun and let your creativity flow. Like my work at the forge, it's not about being perfect—it's about crafting something with your own hands and your own imagination. Happy carving, everyone!

Hades: This sounds like a fun way to spend All Hallows Eve. Now, for our final creature feature, we’ll be talking about goblins. Hermes, give us some fun facts about goblins, if you please. 

Hermes: I’d be glad to, Uncle Hades. 

1.    Goblins aren’t fans of horses. In fact, they hate them! We’re not entirely sure why they despise horses more than other animals such as elephants, but what we can say is that horses often trample goblins when they gallop on by.

2.     Goblins never write. Although they may create lots of artwork, they won’t write a word. In goblin culture, there is a belief that writing will lead to the words literally being stolen from them, never to be restored again. So as not to lose their souls to the black hole of writing, goblins will draw, but never put their words to parchment. 

3.    Goblins love to sing. Although their music is rather spooky and unpleasant for humans to hear, you can’t argue with the fact that it’s still good and filled with skill.

Hades: What an eclectic group of facts, Hermes. I never knew that goblins believed that writing would literally take the soul right out of their bodies. I suppose that without words, one could be considered soulless. Now, who would like to tell us a tale featuring some goblins? 

Poseidon: Allow me, brother. This one comes from the country of Japan. It is known as Singing for the Goblins. A long long time ago, there lived a young man who was both kind and industrious. The villagers respected him, however, he didn’t have a mate because on his right cheek, there grew a large and unsightly mole with two black hairs growing from it. Now this man never complained, and though it caused him to be lonely, he cheerfully wen about his life. 

One evening, after a hard day of chopping firewood, he was heading back home when he heard an eerie sound of flutes and drums. Recognizing the tune, the man began to sing. “In the stillness of winter, when the snow falls fast and furiously…” All of a sudden, the playing stopped and the man heard a hoarse voice call out, “Who was that? Who’s there? Show yourself at once!”

Frightened, the young man bowed his head and stepped forward, finding himself before a fire around which a group of goblins stood. 

“What is your name and why are you here?” Their leader asked. 

“I am Taro, good goblin folk, and I am walking home after having chopped firewood to sell at the market tomorrow.” 

“And how is it that you know our songs?” 

“Oh, great goblins, my mother used to tell me stories about you when I was a boy, and she sang me your songs so that I might enjoy a sound sleep. I know your music well and it was a pleasure for me to hear your music as I walked home on this cold and chilly night.” 

“Indeed? You sing well!” The leader said with a smile. “Please sing some more.” 

And so, for the next three hours, Taro sang to the goblins, who played the music of their people and danced around him with delight. When at last Taro could sing no longer, he said,

“Friends, though I have enjoyed my time with you, I do not have your stamina and must request your leave for I must still get home so that I may prepare for the market tomorrow.” 

The goblins nodded their understanding and said, 

“Very well, Taro. May you live a good and honest life.” 

As he was about to leave, the leader called, “Wait! Let us give you a gift for your beautiful singing!” 

“Oh, this is not necessary, my friends. I enjoyed singing for you.” 

“Even so,” the goblin leader continued. “Let us take the burden which you bear.” Before he could say a word, the goblins reached out and removed the mole from his face.

“Thank you, friends. You have lightened my load.” 

“And you have warmed our hearts. Go and live well, Taro.” And with that, the goblins vanished and Taro found himself alone. Thinking it had been a dream, he reached up to touch the mole on his cheek, but found only smooth skin beneath his fingers. Quickly, he ran home, delighted by this turn of events.

The next day, as Taro was preparing to head to the market, his neighbor Kenji, who also had an unsightly mole, said, “Taro! How did you get that mole removed? Tell me at once or I’ll tell the villagers you are a sorcerer!” 

Out of the kindness of his heart, rather than a fear of Kenji’s threats, Taro told his neighbor about the goblins. That night, Kenji decided to go at once and get his mole removed. As he walked, he thought to himself, “Goblins are stupid and ugly creatures who won’t care what I sing. I’m sure I can sing whatever I please and they’ll take my mole right off.” 

When Kenji arrived at the forest glade where the goblins were playing their instruments, he began to ad lib lyrics. 

“Goblins are rather funny little creatures, with their green skin and high-pitched laughs…” 

“Who’s there?” The leader of the goblins shouted angrily, making Kenji’s blood run cold. He stood stock still, trying not to make a sound. 

“Who has dared to insult us with a song and voice so vile?” 

Though Kenji tried to remain silent, he sneezed, which led the goblins right to him. 

“So it’s you, is it?” The goblin leader said angrily. 

“Since you think that we are so stupid, you may have something we foolishly took from another of your kind!” 

And with that, the goblins affixed Taro’s mole to Kenji’s other cheek. And so, our ill-tempered neighbor lived the rest of his days with two moles, while Taro found a lovely wife, had two children, and lived happily ever after. 

Hades: Thank you for that story, Brother Poseidon. Now, does anyone have a treat featuring the goblin that our listeners can make at home? 

Athena: I’ve got a fun one, Uncle Hades. These are spooky goblin cupcakes. 

You'll need:

• 1 box of vanilla cake mix
• Water, oil, and eggs to make the cake mix
• 3 cups of fluffy white frosting
• 2 cups of purple candy melts
• 1 tablespoon of shortening
• 1 teaspoon of purple food coloring
• 18 large candy eyes

First, heat the oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit, or 175 degrees Celsius. Put paper baking cups in 24 muffin cups. Make the cake mix according to the directions on the box using water, oil, and eggs. This will make 24 cupcakes.

Next, crumble 6 of the cupcakes into a large bowl. Mix in 1/4 cup of the frosting. Shape the crumbled cupcake mixture into 18 balls, about 1 inch each. Put them on a cookie sheet lined with waxed paper. Freeze for 15 minutes so they get firm. Keep them in the fridge.

In a microwavable bowl, microwave the purple candy melts and shortening for 1 minute. Then microwave in 15 second bursts, stirring after each, until smooth and melted.

Now take the cake balls out of the fridge a few at a time. Use a fork to dip and coat them in the purple candy melt. Tap off any extra candy. Put them back on the cookie sheet and refrigerate again.

Spoon the leftover melted candy into a resealable plastic bag. Seal it up. Cut a tiny corner off the bag. Squeeze the bag to pipe 18 purple horns and 36 purple wings onto another cookie sheet lined with waxed paper. Let them set up and get firm.

In a small bowl, mix the remaining frosting with the purple food coloring. Spoon this onto the cupcakes.

Put a purple coated cake ball on top of each cupcake to make the goblin head. Use the melted candy to attach the horns and candy eyes. Stick the wings into the frosted cupcakes.

Now you have spooky goblin cupcakes for Halloween! Enjoy!

Hades: That sounds wonderful! Thank you, Athena. Now Zeus, is anyone sponsoring our podcast this week? 

Zeus: You’re going to love this, brother. This week, our podcast is sponsored by Undead Cross. Friends, are you plagued by pestilent plagues and perilous pains? Have no fear, the Undead Cross is here! We're the number one provider of first-aid for all your boo-boos, ouchies, and supernatural afflictions.

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Hades: Though I don't often make guarantees, I can assure you of one thing: Use this first-aid kit and you'll definitely stay undead. Once you enter my realm, there's no coming back from the dead a second time! Now, how about that lightning round, brother? Yes, you heard me correctly. Rather than come up with a goblin-themed game for you to play, we thought you little goblins would enjoy another lightning round. 

Zeus: Ha! I have yet to award any prizes, but then again, I must admit I’ve been a bit lax about checking the E-mail because it’s been overrun with spam!

All right listeners, here’s how this lightning round works. I’ll ask you a series of questions, and the first person to submit the correct answers will win this week’s prize. There will be quite a few more questions this time around because this week’s prize is a $50 gift card to Netflix. It’s the perfect way for you to enjoy some spooky Halloween fun! E-mail your answers to me at zeus@firesidefolklorewithhades.com and remember to put “Zeus’s Lightning Round, Episode 6” in the subject line. Are you ready for the questions? Let’s go! 

1.    Egyptians mummified humans, but also mummified animals. They included crocodiles and what?

2.    What food does Persephone suggest making to represent mummies?

3.    The first mummy was created by which Egyptian deity?

4.    What did the older sister take from the witch's house in the folktale "The Old Witch"?

5.    Name a familiar that a witch might have.

6.    What is the name of the Irish folktale about the man who tricked the Devil, leading to the first Jack-o’-lantern? 

7.    What spices are used in the recipe Aphrodite shared for pumpkin soup? 

8.    According to Hermes, goblins will create artwork but never do what?

9.    In the story "Singing for the Goblins", what did the goblins remove from the kind man's face?

10. Which deity permitted their shadow self to surface on this podcast in order to send a shiver down our spines?

Hades: That’s all we have for you tonight, folks. We hope you have a safe Halloween, filled with frightfully fun times. Next time, we’ll be visiting Australia where we’ll hear the legend of The Devil’s Pool. We hope you join us for this eerie tale.

Persephone: Good frights, everyone! 

Hermes: Stay courageous!