Greetings, mortal! My queen, Persephone, insisted that I participate in these Olympian Games, as though I had nothing else on my plate to keep me occupied. She even had the audacity to suggest I create a zombie invasion survival game because apparently, that’s what you’re all into these days. However, I didn’t want to make a mockery of the shades who have rightly earned their rest in the Underworld. So instead, I thought it would be far more fun, (for me, at least), to make a mockery out of human hubris. So, I present to you a game in which the only object is to win a Darwin Award.
For those who don’t know, these illustrious awards are given to individuals who, through their own brand of genius, took the fast lane to Asphodel without even paying their obol to Charon. You know those unfortunate souls who decided, for instance, that the best way to drink alcohol was through any entrance into the body except for the mouth? Or the fellow who thought impressing his girlfriend without knowing anything about how to prepare a puffer fish would be a bright idea? Yeah, them. Now listeners, for this game, I’ve made the choices so absurd that you should know that nothing here should be taken as advice, and nothing here should ever be tried at home!
With Themis’s mandatory disclaimer out of the way … here’s how this farce of a game works. You’ll start by choosing a scenario. It could be as mundane as going out to shop at the grocery store, or as extraordinarily foolhardy as trying to pilot a plane with only knowledge from Flight Sim at your disposal. Whatever it may be, your predicament will become increasingly more outlandish until I become impatient enough to make a bargain with the Moirai to put this session to an end. This is voice-based so it will be you, me, and the depraved depths of your imagination. Are you ready? Good, now make me laugh before I change my mind!