Sapphires and Scorpions: A Fairy Tale From Palestine About How Generosity and Greed Are Rewarded, Episode 4, Season 2 of Fireside Folklore with Hades

[00:00:00] Hades: Greetings, culture connoisseurs and mythology maestros. You’ve spelunked your way through the tunnels of the imagination and encountered Fireside Folklore with Hades, the podcast where we bring tales from the past to life in a way that only gods on a mission can. I am your steadfast host, Hades, the keeper of mysteries and chronicler of humanity’s hubris. I am joined by my co-host, Dionysus, who is standing in for my beautiful Persephone, while she is in the Upperworld for the spring and summer months. His libations should provide us with some levity during these trying times. And, I can’t forget the messenger of the gods and psychopomp, Hermes. If that term perplexes you, don’t worry. It merely means that Hermes is our guide, who escorts souls across the vast plains of history and culture as we explore these many tales.

[00:00:50] Tonight, we are once more returning to Palestine, where the olive trees grow, to hear the tale of “Sapphires and Scorpions”. Again, we’ve adapted this one from Speak Bird, Speak Again by Ibrahim Muhawi.

[00:01:02] Everybody has a breaking point, and it seems that the elite who run the United States may have finally reached theirs, not because more than a hundred Palestinians were killed during the Flour Massacre as they converged on an aid truck, nor after the two-week Al-shifa Hospital siege that resulted in hundreds of deaths and entire families being buried alive, but the death of seven, (yes, my friends, seven!) aid workers from the World Central Kitchen. This is not to discount the deaths of these aid workers, for this was a tragedy, but what I am saying is that the elite were willing to overlook, (and be complicit in), the deaths of anywhere between 40,000 and 200,000 Palestinians, depending on the estimates you read; seventy percent of whom have been women and children by continuing to authorize the transfer of weapons like 2,000 pound bombs to Israel so they can wage their genocidal attack on the civilians of Gaza! The elites were willing to overlook a man-made famine, which is a clear and unequivocal war crime according to international law, but when a convoy from their executive chef’s humanitarian organization was hit, resulting in deaths of seven good Samaritans, then it became something to clutch their pearls about. What does that say about the people who purportedly know how to lead the world? And what does that say about the role that money plays in shaping politics, media, and our collective conscience? As a god of the dead, I see the soul of every person who passes through my gates, bereft of their wealth, status, and outer trappings. I urge you, dear listeners, to remember that all souls are equal in my realm, and that all will meet their judgment in time. And for those who believe themselves safe, untouched by the consequences of their actions, I offer this small piece of advice: beware the complicit soul, for it, too, will one day stand before me, its actions and inactions laid bare for all to see.

[00:03:00] On that grim note, let us decompress by the fire, and allow tonight’s story from Palestine to remind us that every person deserves dignity, self-determination, and life. Friends, let the story-telling begin.

[00:03:13] Dionysus: Good evening to you all. I know that Persephone leaves big shoes to fill, and frankly, I’m not even going to try filling them. All I’m going to promise is to have a good time with you as we adventure through these tales.

[00:03:26] Hades: Now then, let’s see who is sponsoring the show this time. Zeus, I hope you didn’t get a sponsor as long-winded as our last one. That must have set a world record for longest advertisement in podcast history!

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[00:04:59] Olympian Oasis Elixirs is not responsible for any lost or stolen words, mispronounced incantations, or unintended enchantments. Users should speak responsibly and be aware that excessive brilliance may attract magpies and other shiny-object enthusiasts. Not for use by sirens, as it may amplify their already irresistible allure.

[00:05:12] Hades: Who needs to work when they can get their hands on this marvel? Hermes, what fun fact are you planning to share about Palestine today?

[00:05:22] Hermes: Tonight, I’d like to talk about the Dead Sea, one of the most interesting natural phenomena located in Palestine. This body of water lies 430.5 meters below sea level! And guess what? It’s ten times saltier than the ocean, which means that if you were to lie in the Dead Sea, you would float as though you were lying upon a cloud. That’s right! Anecdotes tell of the Dead Sea’s water and mud having healing properties. And why do we call it the Dead Sea? It’s because this is one of the most inhospitable environments out there. Due to the high salt content, you won’t find kelp or fish in its depths.

[00:05:54] Hades: Well, it sounds like the Dead Sea may be as close to visiting the Underworld as you’re going to get. It also has the added bonus of having healing properties. Now, let’s give the floor to the good men and women of Palestine as we hear their national anthem, Fida'i.

[00:06:33] [National anthem plays.]

[00:06:40] All Deities: From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free!

[00:07:02] Hades: For tonight’s tale, Sapphires and Scorpions, we will be joined by Artemis playing the poor woman, Athena playing the rich woman, Ares playing the rich man, Dionysus playing the poor man, Apollo playing the sultan, Chronos playing the poor woman’s fart, Demeter playing the rich woman’s fart, Hestia playing the first underground person, and Aphrodite playing the second underground person. Yes, listeners! I am not joking here. Now, let us begin our tale.

[00:07:33] Many years ago, there lived two brothers, Ali and Ahmed. Ali was a rich and prosperous merchant, while Ahmed was a poor but hard-working farmer. Now, unlike in most tales, these brothers were actually dear friends and had a lot of fondness for one another.

[00:07:47] Ares: Here, brother. I know there was a blight upon the wheat, so let me give you some money to help you get through this year.

[00:07:54] Dionysus: Ali, I wouldn’t want to impose upon you.

[00:07:57] Ares: Nonsense, Ahmed! Your work fills our bellies. Mine merely brings symbols of status. Without the furs and jewels I sell, humanity can continue. Without your wheat and chickpeas, we cannot survive.

[00:08:09] Hades: And so, these two brothers remained close, helping one another through the trials of life. One day, however, the two brothers got married, and as it happened, they met their wives at about the same time. Ali married a leather merchant’s daughter named Farah while Ahmed married a seamstress named Layla. As often happens when people marry, the brothers turned inward and focused on their families. Nevertheless, whenever Ali came home from his merchanting trips, he would invite his brother Ahmed’s family for dinner, share stories, and send Ahmed and his wife Layla off with gifts. Farah, being a rather greedy woman, didn’t like the idea of even a single crumb of what she perceived as her fortune being bestowed upon anyone.

[00:08:52] Athena: Ali, your brother works as a farmer. Does he not have enough to sustain himself? He grows food for the community. Why do you provide him with so much, when he does so little? Do you not see, husband, that by giving away our riches to your layabout brother, you are depleting what rightfully belongs to me and our children? A man should put his own household first, not fritter away his fortune on relatives too lazy to provide for themselves!

[00:09:19] Ares: Farah, you speak from ignorance. My brother Ahmed works harder than any man I know to till the soil and grow the crops that feed our community. The wealth I share with him is but a small recognition of his toil. Did you know that Ahmed was the one who helped collect enough money for me to get an education so that our family could be more prosperous? I don’t mean just me, but our family as a whole, because the farm wouldn’t have been enough to provide for both of us if we’d had to share it.

[00:09:47] Hades: But Farah's heart was closed to her husband's pleas. She continued to resent Ahmed and Layla, begrudging them every kindness Ali showed them. Being a clever woman, however, she never allowed Ali to see her resentment. When Ali would go away on merchanting trips, however, she would make life as miserable for her brother-in-law’s family as possible.

[00:10:09] Ahmed and Layla never said a word, not wanting to distress Ali.

[00:10:12] Dionysus: Allah will One day reward Farah’s wickedness with the payment she is due.

[00:10:17] Hades: Now the sultan often traveled throughout his land and dined with his subjects to see how they lived. On one such occasion, he came to town while Ali was away on a merchanting trip to Cairo.

[00:10:26] Athena: If you think I intend to give you something for the sultan’s visit, you’re sorely mistaken. You can avail yourself of whatever refuse you find in our garbage bin. Maybe if you’re lucky, the sultan will give you a few gold coins until Ali returns.

[00:10:40] Hades: Unwilling to dignify Farah with a response, Laylah merely said,

[00:10:45] Artemis: Thank you, sister, for your concern. I’m sure that I’ll be able to host our guest without your assistance.

[00:10:51] Hades: When the sultan visited the home of poor Ahmed and Layla, he noticed how humble it was. However, despite the home’s modest exterior, he could tell that its people were happy and kindhearted.

[00:11:03] Apollo: Thank you for welcoming me into your humble abode. The food smells delicious!

[00:11:07] Artemis: You honor us with your presence, your majesty. Please, come sit and partake of what meager fare we can offer.

[00:11:13] Hades: Ahmed and Layla served the sultan a simple but wholesome meal. As Layla was bringing out the final dish, a most embarrassing thing happened...she let out a fart, right in front of their esteemed guest!

[00:11:24] [Fart sound effect]

[00:11:25] Artemis: Oh no! Please, Earth, swallow me up and spare me this shame!

[00:11:28] Hades: To Layla's shock, the ground opened up beneath her and she fell down, down, down, into an otherworldly realm that looked almost identical to the one above. She found herself in the middle of a bustling bazaar filled with vendors selling brocades, jewels, exotic flowers, and exquisite furs.

[00:11:47] Artemis: Hello? Can anyone tell me where I am and how I came to be here?

[00:11:51] Hestia: Why, you're in the Bazaar of the Bizarrely Belowground! How did you come to join us here?

[00:11:57] Artemis: It's too humiliating to say... but I suppose I have no choice. I was serving a meal to the sultan himself when...when... oh, I can hardly utter it! A fart escaped me, right there in front of our noble guest! I was so ashamed, I begged the earth to swallow me...and it did!

[00:12:13] Aphrodite: Wait a minute... did you say a fart brought you here? I think I saw it come this way... Aha! There it is, trying to hide behind that olive barrel. Grab it, everyone!

[00:12:25] Chronos: Unhand me, you ruffians! I am but an innocent fart, going about my business!

[00:12:31] Artemis: Innocent?! You humiliated me in front of the sultan! I was hosting him when you unleashed yourself upon us all!

[00:12:37] Chronos: How could I resist? After all, I had been confined to such cramped quarters for so long that I just had to break free, and I don’t regret it one bit!

[00:12:45] Hestia: Be that as it may, you must make amends for the embarrassment you caused this lady!

[00:12:51] Chronos: Ugh! Oh, very well. I suppose if I must, then I must. From now on, whenever the lady speaks, sapphires and silver shall fall from her lips. Now, may I please take my leave?

[00:13:02] Aphrodite: Yes, you may go.

[00:13:03] Hades: With that, Layla’s fart ran off with a smile and Layla herself discovered that she was back at the table, as though nothing had happened. In fact, her husband Ahmed and the sultan didn’t even seem to have noticed that Layla had farted before vanishing into the earth.

[00:13:19] Apollo: That was a most delightful meal, Layla. You are an exceptional cook. Thank you for your hospitality.

[00:13:26] Artemis: You are too kind, your majesty. It was an honor to host you in our humble home.

[00:13:29] Hades: As Layla spoke, sapphires and silver coins tumbled from her lips, clinking on the floor. Ahmed and the sultan stared in amazement.

[00:13:38] Dionysus: Layla, my dear, what sorcery is this?

[00:13:42] Artemis: Ahmed, it's rather embarrassing, and I dare not speak of it in front of his Majesty.

[00:13:45] Apollo: Please, do not hold back on my account. I am quite curious to hear the tale behind this marvel!

[00:13:50] Artemis: Well, you see, your Highness... when I was bringing out the final dish, I accidentally let out a rather ill-timed...emission. I was so mortified that I wished for the earth to swallow me whole. To my shock, it did! I found myself in an underground bazaar, where the denizens captured my wayward... wind... and demanded it compensate me for the embarrassment it caused. The scamp agreed, declaring that from then on, silver and sapphires would fall from my lips when I spoke. And, well, here we are!

[00:14:21] Apollo: What an extraordinary tale! It seems your misfortune has turned into a blessing, my dear. I am glad to have been a witness to such a wonder. May Allah continue to smile down upon you both!

[00:14:32] Hades: The sultan soon took his leave, marveling at the incredible events he had witnessed. News of Layla's good fortune spread quickly, and it wasn't long before Farah caught wind of it. Consumed by jealousy, she hatched a plan to gain the same gift for herself.

[00:14:48] Athena: Hmm, so that's how the little wretch got her wealth, is it? Well, anything she can do, I can do better!

[00:14:54] Hades: The next time the sultan came to town, Farah made sure to invite him to her home for a lavish feast. As she was serving the meal, she forced herself to break wind, right there in front of the sultan and all her guests!

[00:15:07] Athena: Oh dear me! I am so terribly sorry, your Majesty. Please, Earth, swallow me whole so that I might escape this humiliation!

[00:15:15] Hades: Just as it had with Layla, the earth opened up and Farah found herself falling into the otherworldly bazaar. She quickly sought out the denizens who had helped Layla.

[00:15:25] Athena: You there! I demand to speak with the fart that brought me here. I wish to be compensated for my embarrassment, just as my sister-in-law was!

[00:15:33] Hestia: Oh, you mean the fart belonging to Layla, the kind woman who was here earlier? I'm afraid that one has already gone on its way. But wait... I think I see your fart over there, trying to sneak away! After it, everyone!

[00:15:46] Demeter: Unhand me, you brutish lot! How dare you manhandle me in such a fashion? I'll have you know I was forced out against my will by that horrid woman! I was lying warm and comfortably when she pushed and pushed and made things so unbearable for me that I had no choice but to flee! She should be punished for her cruelty!

[00:16:04] Aphrodite: Is this true, madam? Did you force this poor fart out, hoping to gain riches as Layla did?

[00:16:10] Athena: Of course I did! Why should that common farmer's wife have all the luck? I deserve wealth and luxury far more than she does!

[00:16:18] Demeter: See? She admits it herself!

[00:16:19] Hestia: Be that as it may, you still owe her compensation.

[00:16:22] Demeter: In that case, I shall indeed grant her a fitting reward for her actions. From this moment forth, whenever she speaks, venomous serpents and scorpions shall fall from her lips! That should put her in her place!

[00:16:35] Hades: Before she could react, Farah found herself back at the table with her guests looking at her in disgust.

[00:16:40] Ares: My dear, that was quite the emission. If you're feeling ill, please retire to your chambers to rest.

[00:16:46] Athena: No, no, I'm fine! Really, it was just a momentary–

[00:16:50] Hades: As Farah spoke, venomous snakes and scorpions tumbled from her lips, hissing and skittering across the table. The guests screamed in terror, fleeing from the room.

[00:16:59] Apollo: Sorcery! Black magic! Guards, seize this wicked woman and have her led into the forest!

[00:17:05] Athena: No, please, your Majesty! It's not what you think! I was only trying to–

[00:17:09] Hades: But the more Farah tried to explain, the more serpents and scorpions poured from her mouth. In a panic, she turned to her husband, her eyes wild with desperation.

[00:17:18] Athena: Ali, my love, you must believe me! This is not my doing! It was your brother and his wife – they have cursed me with this vile sorcery! They seek to ruin us and take our wealth for themselves!

[00:17:30] Ares: Farah, how could you say such a thing? My brother and Layla have shown you nothing but kindness, and this is how you repay them? With lies and false accusations?

[00:17:39] Athena: You think I ever cared for those lowly peasants? I only pretended to tolerate them for your sake, you fool! When you were away on your merchanting trips, I made their lives a living hell, and made sure that they didn’t touch a penny of our fortune!

[00:17:53] Ares: What? Farah, how could you? My brother and Layla are my family, and you treated them with such cruelty behind my back?

[00:18:00] Dionysus: It's true, Ali. Layla and I have long endured Farah's mistreatment, but we kept silent, not wanting to cause strife between you and your wife.

[00:18:08] Artemis: We never wished to burden you with the knowledge of her true nature, Ali. We knew how much you loved her, and we didn't want to be the cause of any discord in your marriage.

[00:18:18] Athena: You see? They've been plotting against me all along! They sought to turn you against me, to steal what is rightfully mine!

[00:18:26] Ares: No, Farah. It is you who have betrayed our family with your cruelty and greed. I was blind to your true nature, but no more. Your own words condemn you!

[00:18:37] Apollo: Enough! Guards, remove this vile creature from our presence! Let her wickedness be banished from this land forever!

[00:18:43] Hades: As the guards seized Farah, Ali stood in shock, his heart heavy with the realization that his wife's kindness had been nothing but a facade. Farah's shrieks echoed through the estate as she was dragged away, leaving a trail of venomous creatures in her wake.

[00:19:00] Ares: Ahmed, Layla, I am so sorry. I should have seen the truth sooner. Can you ever forgive me for not protecting you from Farah's cruelty?

[00:19:07] Dionysus: There is nothing to forgive, brother. We knew your heart was true, even if your eyes were clouded by love.

[00:19:14] Artemis: We are family, Ali, and our love for each other is stronger than any hardship we may face. Together, we will heal and move forward, free from the poison of Farah's malice.

[00:19:26] Hades: From that day forward, the brothers and their families lived happily, their bond stronger than ever. They used their wealth to help those less fortunate in their community, spreading kindness and generosity wherever they went. As for Farah, she was driven out into the forest where she met her demise. And so listeners, we conclude the story of Sapphires and Scorpions.

[00:19:49] Hermes: That was quite a story! I rather liked it more than “Diamonds and Toads” by the Brothers Grimm.

[00:19:53] Dionysus: My dear mixologists, as we gather to celebrate the end of Ramadan with Eid al-Fitr, a time filled with joy and reflection, we also recognize the shadows that fall over our festivities. Today’s celebration has been marked by profound sorrow due to the tragic loss of lives, including three sons and four grandchildren of a Hamas leader in a strike by the Israeli military, which has escalated tensions dramatically and will further impede efforts to reach a ceasefire agreement. As we share this next recipe, let us remember the fragile balance of joy and grief, and reflect on the peace and unity that the spirit of Eid strives to foster. With this in mind, let’s prepare a drink that symbolizes hope and renewal—the 'Desert Date Delight.'

[00:20:36] Hades: Dionysus, I am intrigued! Dates are such a significant part of Ramadan festivities. Tell us, how does this drink bring together the flavors of the season?

[00:20:45] Dionysus: Ah, Hades, this drink is a sweet symphony! We start with the star of our show—date syrup, made from the finest dates, adding a rich, caramel-like sweetness. To this, we add a squeeze of fresh orange juice, a dash of cinnamon for warmth, and a splash of rose water for an aromatic touch reminiscent of Middle Eastern desserts.

[00:21:04] Hades: Sounds like a feast for the senses! How do we prepare this delightful concoction?

[00:21:10] Dionysus: It’s as simple as the stories are complex, my friend. Begin by pouring two tablespoons of date syrup into a shaker. Add the juice of one orange, a pinch of ground cinnamon, and just a few drops of rose water to not overpower the delicate dance of flavors. Shake it well with ice to chill it thoroughly. Strain this luscious mixture into a glass filled with crushed ice, and top it with sparkling water for a refreshing fizz. Garnish with an orange twist and a date on the rim to celebrate the fruit that brings us together tonight.

[00:21:40] Hades: And for those who might want to add a little extra celebration to their drink?

[00:21:45] Dionysus: For a truly divine experience, add a shot of golden rum or brandy, which complements the deep flavors of the date syrup magnificently. Whether enjoyed as a mocktail or cocktail, the "Desert Date Delight" is sure to transport your senses to a land of celebration and renewal.

[00:22:02] Hades: Dionysus, you’ve once again blended tradition and merriment into a drink that speaks to the soul of the feast. Listeners, as we raise our glasses, let us toast to new beginnings, shared stories, and the unifying power of delicious flavors. Now, before we enjoy our weekend, let’s end our episode as we always do, with our lightning round! What have you got for us, Brother Zeus?

[00:22:25] Zeus: All right listeners, here’s how it works. I will ask you three questions about tonight’s episode. The first person to correctly answer my questions will receive a $25 gift certificate to Shop Palestine, an online store selling Palestinian goods. To participate, please send an E-mail with your answers to Zeus@firesidefolklorewithhades.com and put “Lightning Round with Zeus, Episode 4” in the subject line. Be sure to tell me your name or pseudonym and where you’re listening from if you’d like us to acknowledge your win in a future episode. Are you ready? Let’s go!

[00:23:00] 1. What makes people float so easily in the Dead Sea?

[00:23:04] 2. What did all of the cast proclaim after the national anthem of Palestine was played?

[00:23:09] 3. What main ingredient is used in the mocktail "Desert Date Delight" introduced by Dionysus to celebrate Eid al-Fitr?

[00:23:16] Hades: Well, that’s all for tonight, folks. We hope you enjoyed our adaptation of this tale, which goes by “The Rich Man and the Poor Man” in the source material. Next time, we’ll be taking a visit to Yemen where we’ll hear the tale of “The Cloud Camels”.

[00:23:30] Dionysus: Here's to the stories that bind us, the laughter that finds us, and the next episode that awaits us!

[00:23:36] Hermes: Goodnight everyone! Stay curious!