S2 E1 - The Woodcutters Wealthy SisterAuphonicized (3).wav

[00:00:00] Hades: Greetings, seekers of ancient yarns and scholars of chronicles extinguished by time. You've ventured through ridges and valleys to bask in the warmth of "Fireside Folklore with Hades", the podcast where we traverse the narratives of myriad global cultures, retelling them with an Underworld touch. I am your enlightened host, Hades, ruler of the Netherworld, and god of wealth—both tangible and intangible.

[00:00:26] This season is of particularly profound significance to me, as we navigate the folk stories of Palestine and those nations that stand in solidarity with them amidst the most dire of circumstances—pathways carved by steadfast resilience, persistence, and an undying spirit for freedom. We will explore the richness of a culture that defies obliteration, and share their folklore--tales most have never heard before so that their stories will live on for eons.

[00:00:55] By my side is my radiant partner, Persephone, whose splendor rivals the intricate mosaics and timeless beauty of Hisham's Palace, a jewel of Palestinian heritage enduring wars and plagues, battered but not broken.

[00:01:08] We mustn't forget Hermes, my indispensable nephew, the godly courier and my Underworld's psychopomp. Bewildered by the term 'psychopomp'? Never fear. It simply refers to Hermes’ vital role as a guide, leading us across the vast lands we journey, demystifying the truths shrouded in myths.

[00:01:29] Tonight, in this inaugural episode for our second season, we travel to the heart of Syria to unravel the tale of "The Woodcutter's Wealthy Sister", a cautionary tale of a man's lethargy and avarice leading him to his regrettable downfall, nearly taking his entire family down with him.

[00:01:45] So gather round and let the balmy glow and captivating shadows of the firelight keep you company. Friends, let the storytelling begin!

[00:01:53] Persephone: Hello everyone. I hope you enjoyed listening to Hades’s time on the ferry. I must admit that ruling the realm without him was quite fun, particularly letting the shades from Tartarus take a reprieve from their punishments by granting them a stroll in the Elysian Fields.

[00:02:08] Hades: Excuse me? You did what now?

[00:02:11] Persephone: I’m only joking, my love! Things were as monotonous as ever, except when I finally was given an excuse to call you and bring you out of hiding!

[00:02:18] Hades: Hmpf! I see right through you, my dear. Monotonous indeed! Don’t tell me you had no shade petition you for a better sentence, or try to bribe you with drachmi.

[00:02:30] Persephone: Well, now that you mention it … there was one fellow who claimed he was innocent of a bank robbery, and that he was framed by his brother. He begged me to let him out of Tartarus and into Elysium.

[00:02:42] Hades: And what did you do?

[00:02:43] Persephone: I told him I’d believe that when the Styx stopped flowing, of course.

[00:02:47] Hades: I knew I chose you as my queen for a reason. Now, dear listeners, as we embark upon this new season, we find ourselves navigating the meandering river of change. And in the spirit of change, we’re commencing with a segment that's as unexpected as finding a cheerful Sisyphus at the top of his hill. Yes, it's time for our sponsor message, and who better to deliver this missive than the one whose voice thunders louder than his lightning bolt?

[00:03:14] Let’s summon Zeus for this duty, for the quicker he bestows his divine endorsement upon us, the sooner we can return to the solemnity and splendor of our Underworldly tales. Zeus, my thunderous brother, do grace us with your presence and make it swift, lest our listeners believe we’ve traded our shadowy elegance for the bustling agora!

[00:03:34] Zeus: Introducing the Demonic Detector Specs from Mythical Optics! Are you tired of accidentally inviting a demon to brunch because they looked like your neighbor? Well, fear no more! Mythical Optics is proud to present the Demonic Detector Specs - the only pair of glasses you'll ever need to see through the craftiest of disguises!

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[00:04:34] Special Offer: For a limited time, each pair comes with a complimentary bottle of 'Mythical Lens Cleaner' - guaranteed to keep your view of the supernatural crystal clear!

[00:04:42] So why wait? Grab your Demonic Detector Specs today and see the world for what it truly is - a little bit human, a little bit demon, and a whole lot of fun!

[00:04:52] Mythical Optics is not responsible for any inter-realm confrontations or grocery store showdowns. Always spectate specters responsibly!

[00:04:58] Hades: Now that actually made me laugh! Well done, brother! Hermes, my good man, what fun facts did you learn about Syria?

[00:05:07] Hermes: Quite a handful, but here are the three I found to be the most interesting.

[00:05:11] 1. The World’s Oldest Cuneiform Alphabet: Did you know that the first cuneiform alphabet that used symbols to represent sounds was created in Syria? It was called Ugaritic, and it was invented around 1400 BCE by the people of Ugarit, an ancient city on the Mediterranean coast. Ugaritic had 30 letters, written from left to right, and influenced the development of other alphabets, such as Phoenician, Hebrew, and Greek.

[00:05:36] 2. The Queen of Palmyra: Syria was home to one of the most powerful and fascinating women in history: Zenobia, the queen of Palmyra. Palmyra was a wealthy and cultured oasis city that became a major player in the Roman Empire in the 3rd century CE. Zenobia ruled Palmyra after her husband’s death, and expanded her realm by conquering Egypt and parts of Anatolia and the Levant. She even challenged the authority of Rome and declared herself empress. She was eventually captured by the emperor Aurelian, but her legacy lives on as a symbol of resistance and independence.

[00:06:10] 3. The Ice Cream of Damascus: If you ever visit Damascus, the capital of Syria and one of the oldest continuously inhabited cities in the world, you should try the famous ice cream of Bakdash. Bakdash is a legendary ice cream parlor that has been serving its customers since 1885. The ice cream is made from fresh milk, pistachios, and a special ingredient: sahlab, a type of orchid root that gives the ice cream a thick and chewy texture. The ice cream is also beaten with large wooden mallets to make it fluffy and airy. It’s a delicious treat that you won’t find anywhere else.

[00:06:41] Hades: Thank you, Hermes. Ice cream must be quite the beloved dessert worldwide because this is the second time we’ve showcased ice cream on this podcast. Now, before we begin tonight’s tale, let us all rise and enjoy the national anthem of Syria, “Ḥumāt ad-Diyār”.

[00:07:11] [National anthem plays.]

[00:07:43] Hades: Excellent! Before we begin tonight’s tale, I’d like to let you know that for this season, we will not be asking any questions about the folklore segment of the podcast in our Lightning Round. This way, you may enjoy it without having to try and jot things down. We’ll assess how things went at the conclusion of Season 2.

[00:08:15] Now, let’s travel to Syria to hear the cautionary tale of “The Woodcutter’s Wealthy Sister”. The tale was initially read in a book called Arab Folktales by Inea Bushnaq. It became the springboard for our adaptation. Our performers tonight are Apollo who will play as the woodcutter Moustapha, Athena who will play as the woodcutter’s wife Zarah, Artemis who will play as the woodcutter’s wealthy sister, and Hestia playing as the family’s milk cow.

[00:08:42] Hestia: A milk cow? Hades, I never thought that you could be so udder-ly a-moo-sing!

[00:08:47] Hades: Ah, my dear Hestia! I had no idea that your wit could be as sharp as your hearth is hot. Now let us begin our tale! Many long centuries ago, there lived, rather high up in the mountains, a woodcutter who was both very lazy and very foolish. One day, while cutting some logs and wishing he was anywhere but there in that forest, he began to hear footsteps.

[00:09:07] Apollo: Who’s there?

[00:09:08] Artemis: My brother! Do you not recognize your sister? It has been so long since I’ve seen you!

[00:09:13] Apollo: A sister? Do I have a sister?

[00:09:15] Artemis: Come now! Have you forgotten me already? I know it has been some time since we last spoke, but does your memory fade so fast?

[00:09:22] Apollo: Then where do you live, my sister? Have I been to your home before?

[00:09:27] Artemis: Here, let me show you. Perhaps once you see my home, your memory will return.

[00:09:32] Hades: And without a second thought, the woodcutter gaily followed this amiable woman away from his meager pile of wood and began walking deeper into the forest and higher up into the mountains. The sad truth, you see, was that this woodcutter spent more time trying to get out of doing work than actually doing it.

[00:09:50] Apollo: I’m certain I never had a sister, much less a wealthy one, but if this woman wants to share her bounty with me, who am I to stop her?

[00:09:57] Hades: After about thirty minutes of walking, the woodcutter found himself on a large private estate. Sunlight filtered through the trees, casting a warm glow upon the wildflowers beneath. Before him stood a mansion, very much akin to a palace for he had not seen anything quite so lavish in his life.

[00:10:14] Artemis: Come, Brother! Let us dine. I’m sure you are hungry after those hours you spent toiling under the hot sun. I have so much food and nobody to share it with.

[00:10:24] Apollo: Oh my! Is that lamb? And baklava and fruit? And oh, the bottles of wine! Sister, how did you become so wealthy?

[00:10:31] Artemis: Oh Brother! My husband, Amir, did well in the carpentry business but alas! He tragically perished when he was in a terrible accident, but never you mind. Enjoy this bounty and relax in my home while you experience the hospitality I have to offer.

[00:10:45] Hades: Despite the many red flags now waving in front of his face, the woodcutter was so enchanted by the opulence and luxury, so sated by the delicious foods, and completely married to the idea of enjoying the rest of his days in utter indolence that he accepted this woman’s words at face value, never asking an important question. If this woman wasn’t his sister, then why would she claim to be and pamper him with all manner of food and drink? What did she have to gain from such hospitality?

[00:11:14] Artemis: My dear brother, have you any other family? You were single when last we ate together. Am I to believe that you have remained single all these years? How lonely it must be for you to make a meager living chopping wood without any companionship to brighten your days.

[00:11:31] Apollo: [Chuckles.] Oh Sister! My home is filled with the laughter of children. I live with my wife, Zarah, and our four beautiful children. Though we are poor, we are quite content.

[00:11:42] Artemis: Oh, then Brother, you must bring them all here so that they may relax and enjoy the bounty of my hospitality! Don’t you think that as their aunt, I should get to know them?

[00:11:51] Apollo: Of course! That sounds wonderful.

[00:11:53] Hades: The woodcutter’s footsteps were light as he walked home that night. So excited was he that he didn’t even realize that he had left a whole day’s worth of work in the forest. When his wife saw him, she was relieved.

[00:12:04] Athena: Moustapha, thank Allah you’re safe! Where have you been?

[00:12:08] Apollo: You’ll never guess! I reunited with my sister and she is living like a sultana! When she found me chopping wood, she brought me to her estate and fed me lamb, exotic fruits, and wine, not to mention the most delicious baklava I had ever tasted.

[00:12:22] Athena: Moustapha, you don’t have a sister! Tell me the truth. What were you doing and where did you go? Why don’t you have any wood with you? What are we going to sell at the market?

[00:12:33] Apollo: Peace, Zarah! We don’t need to worry about selling wood ever again! You see, my sister has offered to host us for as long as we wish. Our children will be able to play in her lush gardens. And we? Well, we will be able to rest after our constant toil. Isn’t this wonderful?

[00:12:48] Athena: I don’t like this, Moustapha. You don’t have a sister. Not once, since we began courting, did you tell me about a sister. Aren’t you concerned that there may be a sinister motive for this invitation. After all, demons live deep in the forest.

[00:13:02] Apollo: Demons? Oh, Wife! Why must you be so superstitious? I’ve been working for decades up in the mountains without any trouble?

[00:13:10] Athena: Just because you didn’t encounter any demons doesn’t mean there weren’t any. After all, they can disguise themselves very easily.

[00:13:17] Hades: Despite her misgivings, Moustapha’s entreaties finally made Zarah relent. The next morning, she packed their possessions and brought their four children and the milk cow.

[00:13:27] Apollo: That old thing? What do you want to bring her for?

[00:13:30] Athena: Well, seeing as how I have no idea how long we’ll be away, I don’t want her to starve.

[00:13:36] Hades: With that, the family began their trek to the home of this “wealthy” sister. The woodcutter had been worried that he might not be able to find it, but his fears were unfounded for though he had been traveling in the dark the night before, Moustapha and his family quickly came upon the large estate.

[00:13:52] Artemis: Welcome, my brother! Welcome! You brought your entire family with you, I see. How excellent! Come and enjoy yourselves! I’m sure you’ve spent so much time in poverty. Now it is your chance to relax and let me care for you.

[00:14:05] Apollo: See, wife? We can now live in ease with my dear sister.

[00:14:08] Hades: Zarah, however, was not at all comfortable with the arrangement, and though her children played and became healthier each day as they feasted upon sweetmeats, fruits, fresh vegetables, and lamb, Zarah could not help but notice how the other woman would often come up to one of the children with a look of delight as she playfully squeezed their cheeks, making them giggle.

[00:14:27] Artemis: You’re looking so healthy! What a strong boy you have become!

[00:14:31] Hades: When approximately a month had passed, Zarah was plagued by an inability to sleep. As she tossed and turned that night, she heard a voice outside the door.

[00:14:41] Artemis: I’ve fed them on apples, carrots, and yams,

[00:14:44] On sweetmeats and rice, on poultry and lamb.

[00:14:47] Soon I’ll be the one to feast like a queen,

[00:14:49] As they’re all nice and tender, the perfect cuisine!

[00:14:52] Hades: Zarah heard the sound of the woman trying to doors, but they had been locked from the inside. In terror, Zarah lay there, unable to speak. At that moment, the milk cow cried out,

[00:15:03] Hestia: Though you may try to eat the family you host,

[00:15:05] You’ll not get the chance while I stand at my post.

[00:15:09] I’ll protect my mistress and her children too,

[00:15:11] By kicking over this lamp; that’s what I’ll do!

[00:15:13] Hades: The next morning, though Zarah tried to talk to her husband about everything she had seen, he was too comfortable lounging in his chair to listen to her pleas.

[00:15:22] Apollo: Wife, can’t you see I’m sunbathing? There’s nothing to be worried about. Now go off and enjoy some time in the garden.

[00:15:28] Hades: That night’s events were an exact replica of the first. So, when the she-demon disguised as a wealthy benefactor approached the woodcutter the next day and said,

[00:15:38] Artemis: Brother, I have been craving beef these past few days. You wouldn’t begrudge me for asking to butcher your milk cow, would you?

[00:15:45] Hades: Zarah felt horrified as her husband gaily replied,

[00:15:49] Apollo: Absolutely! It’s the least I can do. We shall have filet mignon tonight.

[00:15:53] Hades: Needless to say, Zarah knew that she and her children were in grave danger. Knowing that tonight would be the night the she-demon would strike, she turned to her husband and said,

[00:16:03] Athena: Moustapha, I am warning you for the final time: your “sister”, as she calls herself, is a she-demon who wishes to eat us all. Have you not noticed how our children have filled out? Why do you think she has given you so much food? If your life means anything to you, then you will come with me away from this place. Now!

[00:16:22] Apollo: Wife, you worry far too much. It’s far too nice here for me to leave.

[00:16:27] Athena: Then, my ill-fated husband, I have no choice but to take them myself, for we must leave before nightfall.

[00:16:32] Hades: Then, with resolute determination, Zarah turned to her children.

[00:16:37] Athena: Come, children. We’ll be having filet mignon tonight and I want you all to be well-groomed for the occasion. I shall wash your clothing and bathe you in the river.

[00:16:46] Hades: Quickly, she gathered her children and called out,

[00:16:49] Athena: Auntie, I am going to wash the clothing and bathe the children, for it sounds as though there will be a fine meal tonight. I shall return in a couple of hours at most.

[00:16:58] Artemis: Very well. Have a pleasant time.

[00:17:01] Hades: No sooner was she out of sight then Zarah and the children began to run. She planted a clothing line and hung some linen there so it would wave in the wind as though being dried before taking off in earnest. She did not dare stay at their old home. Instead, she took her children towards the big city, not stopping even for a moment. About an hour after she began her travels, she heard a distant scream as the she-demon discovered her absence. Heavy with sorrow, yet thankful to Allah for having given her the sense to escape with her life, Zarah and her children lived happily, (and wisely) ever after, never forgetting the lesson that if something seems too good to be true, it probably is.

[00:17:43] Persephone: Wow! That was a grim tale.

[00:17:45] Hades: The text I found was even grimmer, my dear. Let’s just say that had we heard it, we might have lost our appetites.

[00:17:51] Persephone: Well, I’m glad you didn’t allow that to happen, because I have a yummy recipe to share. Tonight, I’ll be sharing the recipe for a delicious roasted red pepper dip called Muhammara.

[00:18:03] Muhammara is a vibrant and flavorful Syrian dip that's beloved across the Middle East. This delightful spread combines the sweetness of roasted red bell peppers with the nutty depth of walnuts and a kick of garlic, all balanced with the tanginess of pomegranate molasses. Originating from Aleppo, Syria, Muhammara literally means "reddened" in Arabic, which reflects its striking color. This is an all-purpose dip which can be enjoyed with bread or veggies as a snack, or used as a condiment with various Middle Eastern dishes.

[00:18:35] Here Is What You Will Need:

[00:18:37] 2 cups (300g) roasted red peppers, drained

[00:18:41] 1 cup (100g) walnuts, toasted

[00:18:45] 1/2 cup (60g) fresh breadcrumbs

[00:18:48] 2 tablespoons (30ml) extra virgin olive oil

[00:18:52] 1 tablespoon (15ml) pomegranate molasses

[00:18:57] 1 clove garlic

[00:18:58] 1 teaspoon (5g) ground cumin

[00:19:01] 1/2 teaspoon (2g) crushed red pepper flakes (adjust to taste)

[00:19:06] Salt to taste

[00:19:07] Juice of 1 lemon (about 2 tablespoons or 30ml)

[00:19:12] Here are the instructions:

[00:19:13] 1. Begin by toasting the walnuts in a dry pan over medium heat until they're fragrant. This will enhance their nutty flavor. Allow them to cool.

[00:19:24] 2. In a food processor, combine the roasted red peppers, toasted walnuts, breadcrumbs, garlic, cumin, and red pepper flakes. Pulse until the mixture becomes coarsely ground, preserving some texture.

[00:19:37] 3. With the processor running, slowly drizzle in the olive oil and pomegranate molasses. Season with salt to taste. Add lemon juice, adjusting the amount to ensure a perfect balance between tangy and sweet.

[00:19:50] 4. Taste the Muhammara and adjust the seasoning if necessary. If you prefer a spicier dip, feel free to add more red pepper flakes.

[00:20:00] 5. Transfer the dip to a bowl and refrigerate for at least an hour. This allows the flavors to meld together beautifully.

[00:20:07] 6. Before serving, give the Muhammara a good stir. Garnish with a drizzle of olive oil and a sprinkle of crushed walnuts. It pairs wonderfully with warm pita bread, fresh vegetables, or as a unique spread on sandwiches.

[00:20:20] Plating Suggestion: Serve your Muhammara in a beautiful bowl, garnished with a few whole walnuts and a drizzle of olive oil. Accompany it with a platter of fresh, crunchy vegetables, warm pita bread, or as part of a larger mezze spread. Its vibrant color makes it a visual centerpiece, so let it shine!

[00:20:40] If you would like to share pictures of your dish or have any questions, feel free to E-mail me at Persephone@firesidefolklorewithhades.com.

[00:20:48] Hades: That does sound quite delicious, particularly since there is that pomegranate molasses in it, my love. I just hope our listeners will be able to find it.

[00:20:57] Hermes: Uncle, it can be gotten online and through Middle Eastern markets and specialty food stores. You can even make it at home. Camels aren't required to haul it over anymore.

[00:21:06] Hades: Thank you for enlightening us all, Hermes. Now let's get to what I'm sure you all have been waiting for. Yes, my dear listeners, it's the Lightning Round with Zeus. Brother, please take it away.

[00:21:16] Zeus: All right, listeners. Here's how it works. I will ask three questions about today's episode. The first person to write in with the correct answer will win a $25 gift card to Etsy. While browsing, I found some Mamool, Syrian cookies that also happen to be vegan! To participate, please E-mail me at Zeus@firesidefolklorewithhades.com with the subject line, "Lightning Round with Zeus, Episode 1." If you'd like to be acknowledged in a future episode, please include your name or pseudonym and where you're listening from. Are you ready? Let's go!

[00:22:06] 1. While Hades was manning the ferry, Persephone was singlehandedly ruling the Underworld. One of the shades tried to bribe their way into Elysium. What was the crime they said they were framed for?

[00:22:18] 2. An ice cream parlor has been in operation since 1885. (Some say 1895), and it’s located in Damascus. What is its name?

[00:22:26] 3. What does the word muhammara mean?

[00:22:28] Hades: Well, that’s all for tonight, folks. We hope you enjoyed this evening’s tale, “The Woodcutter’s Wealthy Sister” from Syria. This season, we’ll be alternating between tales from Palestine and tales from those countries who stand in solidarity with them, so our first stop to Palestine will happen next time. We’ll be hearing the tale “Half of a Halfling”, about a hero who didn’t allow his setbacks to break his spirit.

[00:22:52] Persephone: If you’d like to share any feedback, or have a request for a tale you’d like featured on a future episode, send a dead letter to my husband, who is actually a lot nicer than his voice might lead you to believe, at hades@firesidefolklorewithhades.com.

[00:23:06] Hades: Hmpf!

[00:23:07] Persephone: Goodnight everyone!

[00:23:09] Hermes: Goodnight everyone! Stay curious!